Fuck, fuck, FUCK!
I wish I never agreed to getting help. Frank, Mom, Dad, and I sit at the kitchen table for dinner.
"Eat up Gerard." Dad mumbles through a mouthful of food.
My hands shakes as I pick up my fork.
I need to tell them. For Frank. For me.
"How was your day Fra-"
"Father John." I blurt out, cutting mom's soft voice off.
All eyes go to me, as I look to Frank's wide eyes.
"Gee-" Frank starts but I shake my head.
"What about him?" Dad questions.
Anxiety fills my forever decaying body as I glance at Frank. Fuck, I wish I never said a word. I wish Frank never walked in on Father John and me. I wish...fuck, I wish everything would just stop and let me breathe.
My throat begins to close as I feel a panic attack coming on. I quickly look away, trying to regulate my breathing. I need to say it. I have to now.
"I-" The words won't come out.
"Spit it out, baby." Mom smiles softly as I begin shaking.
"Gee, calm down." Frank mumbles.
I feel a hand rest gently on my thigh. For a touch that should've been comforting, it provided anything but.
"S-Sorry, um...don't w-worry. I-I forgot." I breathe out, looking at my untouched food.
Frank's hand leaves my thigh, making me look over at him. I see his disappointed and slightly pissed off expression. Doesn't he understand that this isn't really something I can just easily go around telling people? Especially my parents?!
"I-I'm done. Can I be excused?" I shakily say.
Mom looks worried as she points to my plate, "You haven't eaten though."
"I'm not h-hungry." I say quickly, getting up and moving from the table.
I run up the stairs, hearing someone follow me.
As I walk into my bedroom, I let out a shaky breath I didn't know I was holding in.
"What happened?" I hear a pissed off and disappointed voice.
I turn to Frank, seeing concerned eyes. Fuck I hate when he is anything but happy.
"I couldn't do it. I-they-I'm sorry." I stumble to my bed, taking a seat heavily.
Frank sits on his bed, looking at me with sad eyes.
"Aright. I um...okay. Do it when you uh, when you can." He says, shocking me.
I honestly was expecting him to lecture me about staying strong or some shit.
"I-uh-right." I look down.
My breathing soon becomes fine and I am left with my thoughts, and a disappointed Frank.
"Wanna go to the park and smoke?" He suggests as I look up at him.
I nod, "Fuck I need a cigarette."
"Let's go"
YOU ARE READING
Fight Fire with Fire (Frerard)
FanfictionI wanted to both kiss the bruises off his poor milky skin and cause more. He was an asshole. A pure descendant of the devil. Why did I ever let him in my life? The moment I laid eyes upon him was the moment I knew his middle name spelt trouble. -- G...
