Fight Fire with Fire (Frerard)

5. Tell Me, Do I Deserve What's Coming?

I sit in the doctors office, feeling uncomfortable as mom and the doctor stare at me.

"So Gerard, what happened this morning is believed to be a severe panic attack. You passed out due to not enough oxygen to the brain. Are you on any anxiety or anti-psychotic medication?"

I look down, shaking my head.

"Right. Am I right in saying that this was your first experience with having a panic attack?"

I weigh up my options. Part of me think's it would be best to tell the truth, but the last thing I need is more of a reason for my parent's to worry more. I am so annoyed that I allowed them to see the dark and sad side of my brain. I need to hide it better.

I don't know what it is about Frank, but he makes the emotional side of me come out. I need him to stop doing this to me.

"No. I-I mean-like you're right. I don't have p-panic attacks. I am f-fine. It was just um, because I was-I was tired." I try to convince him.

He stares, seeming to try and read me. Please believe me...

"Right. Well you should keep a close eye and make sure to record when you have another one. If you have them more frequently, then we might have to look at putting you onto some sort of medication." He smiles.

Oh thank you Lord! I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I nod, standing up when mom does.

"Thank you doctor." Mom smiles.

As we walk to the door, the doctor calls for me. I turn, feeling anxious. What does he want?

"You know it's quite common for people to suffer from anxiety, right?" He says, as if he saw right through my lies.

My cheeks heat up as I nod, "Yeah. Thanks." and with that, I rush out the door, meeting mom out the front of his office.

As we make our way to the car, mom's phone begins ringing. When she answers it, her face shows disappointment.

"Right. Oh, good grief! Yes, I'll be right there." She mumbles as we climb into the car.

My body is far more relaxed knowing my mom's sidetracked. No questions thank god!

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Mom sighs, showing frustration.

"Frank got into a fight with someone at school. Seriously? It's his first day and he is already being sent to the principle's office? My lord, that boy need's Jesus." She sighs, driving to my school.

I sit, feeling nervous for Frank. Mom doesn't look too impressed...

-

"Bullshit! He hit me first!" Frank yells as mom, Principle Quinn and I stare wide-eyed.

"I don't care who started it. Belleville High does not tolerate violence." Principle Quinn says, shaking his head.

Frank's eyes roll as do mine. If they didn't tolerate violence, why do I get beat up so often?

"Whatever. Can we just go?" Frank spits.

Mom sighs, turning to us both.

"How about you both start walking to the church. I want to discuss a few more thing's with Principle Quinn."

My eyes widen as I look down. Damn it!

"Go." She pushes as Frank stands, making the chair behind him fall back.

Without a care, he storms out of the office. I too, make a quick exit. Frank doesn't know where the church is, so I'll have to lead the way.

We walk in silence, down the sunny street. The air is fresh and the birds sing. The vibe is very much the opposite to both Frank and my moods.

"Stupid fucking loser. He hit me first!" Frank vent's as I listen halfheartedly, "What was his name? Oh right, Urie or some shit. More like forehead. Man, I hate him."

I stroll along, overthinking how the next two hours are going to pan out. I just hope Father John doesn't do anything stupid...

"He's mean." I add a comment about Brendon Urie.

He is one of my main bullies. He has taken a sick liking into bashing my face in.

"It's alright for you; you had the day off."

"Only because I passed out and mom made me see a doctor. I was fine." I say.

He chuckles, "If you think you were 'fine' you're in denial."

My eyebrows furrow as I look to him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs, ignoring my question as we make our way up the stairs of the church.

I look up, feeling anxious and sick. Hopefully nothing happens...

-

"He is so weird. Fucking creepy." Frank mumbles as we lay bibles along the pews.

I look to Frank, "Great choice of words. Not like you're in a church or anything..."

He smirks, "Sorry."

For some reason, I find myself smirking too. Why am I smirking? As we lay the bibles, the doors behind us open, and in walks Father John.

"How's it going?" He smiles.

"Fabulous." Frank says with a flat voice.

I stay silent because if I open my mouth, I just may vomit. Father John walks down the row, getting close to me as I look down, laying the bible down.

"Hey Gerard, can you please help me upstairs. I need you to clean my coffee machine."

The blood drains from my face as I nod. Oh no...

"Frank, Gerard and I will be upstairs. You're doing great. When you're done you can sit in here and have a little break."

Frank nods, not caring too much about what Father John has to say.

I wish he cared more to read between the lines...