My body shakes as I pull my jeans up. Pain shoot's through me. Why god, why?
"Good boy." Father John lands a hard kiss on my lips.
I want to rip my lips off as soon as he moves away from me, leaving to check on Frank. What if Frank heard or saw us? Oh no, that cant happen!
I rush out after making sure I don't look like death. When I hit the bottom of the stairs, pain swirling around my body, I rush into the room where Frank is. Relief fills me as I see Frank, laying and snoring on one of the pews.
"Frank?" Father says.
Frank jolts awake, rubbing his eyes.
"What?"
At least he doesn't know about what we did.
"Time for you and Gerard to set off home." He smiles.
I try not to fall as my legs and body shake. Franks stands, stretching and yawning.
"Thank god."
We both leave without another word. Well, that went worse than I expected. He really gave it to me this time. Wouldn't even stop when I finished.
"You okay?" Frank asks as we walk very slowly.
We both clearly don't have much of a desire to go home yet. The last thing I want or need, is dad and mom asking questions about how it went. I just want to block it out, like I always do.
"I-yeah." I lie.
Silence takes over for a moment before Frank pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.
"Let's sit here for a bit. I don't particularly want to go home just yet." He says as he sit's on the bench by the local park.
Biting my lip, I try not to hiss in pain as I sit down. My mind is rushing and screaming. I need it to stop. I need everything to stop. Weather it's for five seconds, or forever, I need a break.
"Want one?" he offers as a lit cigarette hangs loosely between his lips.
I look down at the almost full pack of cancer sticks. Maybe they actually help people. Why else would thousands of sad people smoke? And would one really hurt?
"They wont bite man. It would take more than one to make you addicted." He says, noticing me thinking about it.
"Dad would kill me." I mumble.
"Fuck it. Don't you get sick of always having to follow along with the shit your parents say all the time? Think for yourself. You only live once man." He smiles.
For some unknown and scary reason, I find myself smiling. As I look into his eyes, I see another side of Frank. Not just the reckless rebel side, but the free side. He is a free spirit with his own rules and morals.
And maybe for the first time in my life I felt like I wanted to be free. Like letting a bird out of a cage. He is right, I am so, so, so sick and tired of people telling me what to do. I'm sixteen, not six.
"Y-Yeah." I mumble.
As if a bird was set free, I take a cigarette out of the pack. Frank's face holds a somewhat surprised expression as I look at it. It has a weird smell. Very different to the smell of them burning.
"Here, hold this." He smiles softly, giving me his cigarette before taking mine from me and sitting it between his lips.
I watch as he flicks the lighter, allowing the bright flame to burn the end. As he takes my cigarette out of his mouth, he blows the smoke, handing it back to me. I take it into my shaking fingers.
"I-um...h-how do..." I look at it in confusion once he has taken back his cigarette.
He chuckles, "Put it between your lips, then you sort of breathe the smoke into your mouth, then your chest, then out. You'll be fine. Give it a try."
I place the burning stick between my lips, giggling a little before breathing in. Shockingly, I breathe it in and out without coughing!
"Woah! There you go! Fuck yeah!" He cheers as I remove the cigarette from my mouth, smiling wide.
"Oh my gosh! I did it!" I feel some sort of sick excitement.
I know it's bad but I actually kind of feel...I don't know. I feel free. Alive. On top of the world!
"Do it again." He smiles.
I do as he says, only this time not so fluently.
"Sh-Shit." I cough out.
Quickly, my hand fly's to my mouth and my eyes widen. I just swore...
"Did you just-" Frank is just as shocked as me.
We stare for a moment before bursting out into a fit of wheezing laughter.
"Was that the first time you've sworn?" He asks, taking a drag of his cigarette.
I too take a slow drag, "Sort of." I breathe out.
Soon, smoking becomes natural and easy. I am proud to say that I haven't coughed since.
When we finish out cigarettes, we both look up to the sky, seeing the sky turning dark. I sigh.
"I guess we better get going."
"You sound disappointed." He states as I look down and shrug.
We stand and begin walking.
"Thanks for that. The cigarette. For some reason, it actually made me feel...better." I smile gently.
He nods, "All good man. Just hurry up the stairs so your parent's don't smell the smoke. I suggest you keep that jacket as your 'cigarette jacket'. Then your other clothes wont smell."
I nod, finding peace in the thought that Frank is actually a really cool dude. He doesn't expect anything from me and doesn't nag me to be perfect. I can forget everything when I am with him. All the crap going on in my life, isn't there when I am talking and hanging out with Frank.
When we get to my house, I notice the pain in my body coming back. I rush through the door, up the stairs and into my room. I stand, hearing Mom question Frank as to why I was in a rush.
"He um, needed to pee."
I smile. What is this weird feeling I get when I think of Frank? Why is he kind of...no. No way. I am straight. Being gay is a sin and I don't sin. Well...apart from the swear word and smoking. But my parent's would lose their minds if they found out I smoked, let alone if I told them I am gay.
No, I'm no way near gay.
Not even slightly.
YOU ARE READING
Fight Fire with Fire (Frerard)
FanfictionI wanted to both kiss the bruises off his poor milky skin and cause more. He was an asshole. A pure descendant of the devil. Why did I ever let him in my life? The moment I laid eyes upon him was the moment I knew his middle name spelt trouble. -- G...
