If I Ain't Got You

Chapter 21

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After CJ and Amiyah had sex, him and Amiyah laid back. Amiyah got under the covers to cover herself up.

"Why do you do that?", CJ asked.

"Do what?", Amiyah asked.

"Act all shy after we fuck", CJ said. "I already seen all ya goodies", he said.

"...I'm just not used to this", Amiyah said.

"What? Sex? Because you just proved to me that you had plenty of practice", CJ said.

Amiyah shook her head. "No. Sleeping with guys that I don't date", Amiyah said.

CJ moved it body so that his head was laying on the pillow. "...so what made you do it?", CJ asked. "Because I didn't think that you would do this"

"I didn't expect me to do this either....I guess it was just me being in a certain mood", Amiyah said.

"Horny?", he asked.

"That and...I don't know. I guess I just wanted to get over my ex", Amiyah said.

"Are you?", he asked.

"No", she answered.

"...you may not want this advice from me but it's hard to get over somebody you was feeling. Having sex with someone else ain't gone change that", he said.

"I'm guessing you know from experience", she said.

"Yea. I do", CJ said. "A thug got feelings too"

Amiyah chuckled.

"Listen, the world is yours. You're a strong, independent woman and there will be another guy for you", he said. "...think of it like this. God does closes certain doors for new ones to open. Right now you may think that whatever happens is bad, but it isn't. He's just preventing something from being even worst"

"I can't believe you of all people is giving me advice right now and it's actually good", he said.

CJ smiled a little. "What is that supposed to me?", he said.

"Well that means it's more to you than people may think...you're not as bad, from what I see, as people portray you to be", she said.

"...thank you", he replied. "I appreciate it"

CJ began to get out the bed.

Amiyah yawns.

"Long day?", he asked as he put his underwear on.

"Yes and long night", Amiyah said.

"Partying or something?", CJ asked.

"No my-"

CJ waited for a response. "Your?", he asked.

"...my son. He kept me up all night", she said.

"Oh. I didn't know you had a son or that you were a parent for that matter", he said.

"Yea", she replied. "He's my life"

"I know the feeling", he said with a smile. He was thinking about his own child.

"You're a father?", she asked.

"Yea. To two beautiful daughters", he said. "Most people don't know that"

"Being that we've only known each other for a couple weeks, why am I one of the people that know?", she asked.

"Because you're normal", he said.

Amiyah made a face.

"Not in a bad way. I just mean that you're not some killer or our here in the streets and you're a parent to", he said.

"Oh. Well, how old are they?", she asked.

"Syd is 3 and Ashley...she was premature...she didn't make it but she's still with me at times", CJ said as he looked down.

"I'm sorry", she said.

"It's cool", CJ said.

"So is Syd and Ashley daughters of the girl you had feelings for?", she asked.

"Nah, just Ashley. The death kinda took a toll on our relationship", he said. "...but we were having problems before that so it doesn't even matter"

Amiyah didn't say anything.

"So, how old is your son?", he asked.

"He'll be 1 in a few weeks", Amiyah said.

"Is the father this ex you speak of?", he asked.

"No. A different one", Amiyah said.

CJ nods.

After talking about his daughter. He stopped making eye contact with Amiyah. He thought that if he did, he'd get into his feelings and cry. So he was just trying to remain calm. Amiyah did realize this so she got up and kept the covers over her and touched his shoulder.

"I don't know what it's like to loose a child. But I do know what it's like to loose somebody that was so close to me. You dont get over it, but you learn- you have to learn how to live without them but at the same time know that they're still with you every step of the way. If you need to cry, cry. You'll never come to terms with it if you don't", she said.

CJ looked at Amiyah. "Gangstas don't cry", he said as a couple of tears came rolling down his face.

"So what do you call that, CJ?", he asked.

CJ stopped looking at her and sniffed as he wiped his hand down his face.

"Hey, I'm not going to tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me", she said.

CJ couldn't help but laugh a little even though he was sad.

Amiyah smiled.

"You cool. I fuck that", CJ said as he looked at her.

"Aww thanks", Amiyah said. "Now. You know the drill. I'm about to get dressed"

CJ shook his head. "Yea whatever", he said as he stood up and went into the bathroom.

Amiyah got out of the bed and proceeded to put her clothes on. Once she got her clothes on, she knocked on the bathroom door.

"I'm heading out", Amiyah said.

"Alright, ma", CJ said.

"...I finally heard you call me Amiyah today. What happened to that?", she asked.

"It's too much to say", he said.

Amiyah giggled. "It's only three syllables", she said.

"And "ma" is only one syllable", CJ said.

"Alright, whatever", she said as she shook her head. "Goodnight"

"Goodnight", he replied.

Amiyah left.

TO BE CONTINUED...
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