Blood & Sympathy (FFVII: Vincent x OC)

Ch63 - Problems

Night arrived by the time Jocasta got off Reno's car and walked towards the entrance of the huge building that contained flats, including hers. Silence had fallen in the streets of Edge. The sky was covered behind a thick layer of dark clouds. Of course, nobody dared to walk alone at night. It was dangerous for normal citizens to be robbed or worse. So, Reno walked out of the car once he parked it outside the building, and he stood by it, waiting for her to walk in before he'd leave. He was following direct orders from the President.

Jocasta grabbed a group of keys from her bag and she unlocked the door. She looked back at him from her shoulder and she forced a smile at the Turk. "It's alright, you can go now,"

"Not until you're in, Doc," He crossed his hands against his exposed chest as he pressed his weight with his hips resting against the car.

Jocasta chuckled "Thanks, Reno,"

"Just doing my duty,"

Why did it sound so familiar? Ah, yes because she had that conversation before with a Turk. It was so long ago but his voice was still in her mind. It was that night that Gast had called her and asked her to help him deal with Ifalna's wounds. Wounds made by the experiments done to her under Shinra's labs. Vincent was still her bodyguard back then and he wouldn't leave her side no matter how hard she had tried to lie to him. He was still a Turk. He could still report that Gast and Jocasta were helping the test subject escape.

But nevertheless, Vincent still waited for her. He had kept guard outside Gast's house and waited almost the entire night till she finished dealing with Ifalna's wounds.

"Call if you need anything," Vincent said.

Jocasta nodded and she turned her attention to opening the door and exiting the car, but she stopped halfway and gave him a smile "Vince... thanks,"

Vincent eyed her for a moment before he tried his best to return the smile "Just doing my duty,"

Reno, why did you have to remind me of him? Maybe it wasn't his fault at all. Maybe it was her mind linking everything to him without leaving her at peace, not for a mere second. Why did she have to need him so much?

Jocasta felt the sting in her eyes letting her know that tears were already trapped on top of her lower eyelids. Tears of sadness but also anger. She was angry to herself. She hated herself for being like this, for the sake of a man. It was so, so unlike her. She'd fallen down the same pit when her long-gone fiancé died, but two years after his death, she wasn't that miserable. Maybe what she felt for Vincent was something so much more.

No. She didn't want to cry. She did not need him. She made it damn well two years without him. But she knew that that was a lie. Well... almost. She knew she was just trying to convince herself about something that wasn't even true. She hadn't made it damn well. Drinking and sinking into misery and nightmares wasn't damn well. Crying herself to sleep wasn't damn well. Wishing every second that he was there to hold her wasn't damn well.

No. She wasn't okay. But she had to keep telling herself that she was. Keep telling herself until someday she would believe it. Even though she knew that, that day would never come. But time heals everything. It healed her hatred for Hojo, her thirst for revenge from Shinra. She had saved the President because she no longer felt angry. She knew that anger wasn't going to change the past. It wasn't going to heal her scars and bring herself back to normality. Besides, Rufus was nothing like his father. She had seen the difference from the beginning.