Boredom: Season 0

Fan-media: Kyurei

How to write a shitty fanfic in 2 minutes:

1. Find character you like/hate and find another character to ship with to make a romantic relationship you will never have
2. Have bad writing
3. Include as many tropes as you can (I.e. bad boy meets nerd, Mary Sues, etc.)
4. Have self-insert/reader-insert be all powerful or stale af
5. Make it a power fantasy of romance
6. Somehow include a self-insert to be "quirky"
7. Butcher said character(s)'(s) personality
8. Lmao that's all I could think of

Seriously, I see these tropes pretty often. I'm not sure why do you guys have so many good ideas that are so poorly executed that the idea doesn't matter anymore. What's up with that anyway?

Also why are there so many fanfics surrounding romance? Or at least with romance as the main plot line. It's pretty weird if you ask me tbh. Then again, I'm not the type to enjoy romance novels at all.

Kuromi's okay with it while Shiromi really hates those types of books. Korrina just only reads them ironically and Whitney just looks at them to see how cheesy a book can be. Trinity had never read one and I'd like to keep it that way.

I normally read fanfics of ourselves for no reason other than I can. I'm normally disappointed with the results, or well, lack of. Also can you guys please use my other forms more? I rarely see them get utilized if it comes to popular fanfics with us. Especially Black.

Also is it just me or is it just that nobody, like nobody, has ever thought of shipping Reshiram with Black? I've seen certain...stuff involving White & Zekrom but not the other two. I've seen Reshiram & Zekrom or Kyurem but not said pair. I've seen Black & White (which I find weird considering their IRL relationship as half siblings, but I'll just assume the ones that are shown are not related), but not these two.

Is Black really not that popular at all to you foreigners?

*That said, on behalf on Reshiram, Zekrom, Black, White, Hybrid, and us, we are fine with being shipped as long as you explicitly say said being is not us (as in a different being), it is not explicitly incestual nor pedophilloic, and most importantly, you don't ship us as real beings. You can ship our personas, just don't ship us ourselves.

*(Side note: no, the writer of this story is not speaking on canonical Kyurem's behalf, it is just Kyurei sharing her views. She is directing this message to her audience in her world/universe.)

I should note, fanfics are not as widely spread in Kodoka ('cause well, you're just basically making fiction with beings that actually exist), however fan-art is very common in and out of this country. I have found so many cool pieces of art of my acquaintances and myself, I feel like you should see them yourself. You guys should really check them out.

Fun fact: some of these pieces had help some legendaries decide what they should wear on special occasions as humans.

You're here now? Good, enjoy this crappy, satirical play on most Reshiram and Zekrom's ships in a nutshell in fanfics (robotic or Indian accent is recommended to read this):

R = Reshiram
Z = Zekrom

R: I hate you
Z: Me too
R: I is gril
Z: I is dud
R: I cut & pwetty
Z: I stronk & hamsom
R: I am opteemist even though most outcoms are poop
Z: I am cold to look cool even though that proves I'm insekur
R: let's frick
Z: k
R: ah
R: ding dong is scrumptious
Z: I am kyuuuuming at the thought
R: I lub you
Z: yes
Z: we lubby chubber
R: sea
Z: something stupid here
R: countering stupid thing
Z: I hat you
R: Y E S
Z: nvm I stil lub you
R: y to same

I wrote this and BS'ed every thing. I just thought of the most common pattern in their ship. I think. Can we please get more female Zekrom's and male Reshiram's? Shiromi and Kuroko's relationship is much more tame compared to Kuromi and Shiroshi's. Shiromi and Kuroko are in a more romantic relationship rather than sexual.

And yes, there is a difference between sexual preferences and romantic preferences.

IDK, I just feel weirded out with Kuroko actually perusing the horny instead of just cuddling with Shiromi. Then you get Kuro and Shiro's situation, but you get the idea. To describe Kuroko and Shiromi's relationship in a nutshell, here it is:

S: Shiromi
K: Kuroko

S: u cut
K: u pwetty
S: I protecc
K: I attacc
S: but most importantly
K: we cuddel
K: me horni
S: no
K: ok
S: I def not horni
K: ok
[Kuroko gets punched by random person and eyes are watery]
S: y u cri
K: he huwt me
S: f u random citizen
S: I hat u so much for hurtin precious babi
K: I not babee
S: yes u r
K: no
S: yes
K: stop
S: no
K: *cute birb screeching noises*
S: babi
K: no
S: I cuddel u
K: ok

I fucking swear, Kuroko says okay too often. You really can't believe how worn out the "o" and "k" keys are on his keyboard. Here's Kuromi and Shiroshi's in comparison:

K: Kuromi
S: Shiroshi

S: I leik cut gril with big thighs
K: I leik kinda big ding dong and hot man. Literally & figuratively
S: oh wow, man-woman is cut
K: oh wow, cross dresser is hawt
Both: let's frick even doe we drunk
K: I leik
S: I leik
K: moar
S: no
K: y
S: can't
K: ok
[Placard of a few moments later]
S: horni
K: ok
Both: *is fricking*
K: oh wow, that grate
S: regurt
K: y
S: nothing
K: ok
S: I hug
K: yes
K: now frick me daddy
S: no
K: ok
[Shiroshi sleeps on Kuromi's thighs]
S: they E X T R A  T H I C C
K: ok
Rando: take off glasses
K: ok
S: u look weird without the glass
K: ok
S: plz put them back
K: ok
S: better
K: thx, couldn't see

Yep, that pretty much sums up their relationship. It's 10x more horny and blunt. Makes sense because Shiroshi is blunt and Kuromi is more brusque compared to her (full) siblings. Still a cute couple though. Both are valid pairs and I will still be jealous regardless.

Anyways, that's just my thoughts on fan-media. There's probably more, but I can't think of any right now. That's all.