Conflicted Hearts - RA Sequel (completed) 18+

Part 19

**Saint's POV**

It feels nice being at work again, I had missed it but no matter what I would never trade it for the time I have been spending with Perth. I have been trying to control myself around him but each day just gets harder and harder.

At this point I know for a fact that I have fallen for him hard and I am not fully sure what to do with my feelings.

I can't confess my feelings to him because that would cause problems with my brother but I didn't want to give up on him either. This was a situation I never thought I would ever be in but here I am fucking in love with my brothers boyfriend.

Fuck...

After he woke up laying on me that one night he has been acting a little weird and distant but he still lets me come over every day to help him research stuff for his work which I think is really cool.

If I didn't spend those hours with him I would have never known about how invested he was in his work and how big his heart actually is.

He is an amazing man and even though he Is younger than me, I don't really feel like I have a chance even if he was single.

With a sigh I pass Mai my last paper work for the night before heading to the locker rooms early. 

I had noticed yesterday that he was out of actual food and he probably had no time to go shopping since he's working all the time. Sooo I thought I would go to the store and get him some grocery's.

I figured it was the least I could do since he is always making me food and snacks for free because I'm over there all the time now.

Thankfully when I got here I was the only one. A few days ago Tong was in here while I was getting ready and he was talking about how he wanted to kiss Perth to see if he could kick start his feelings. 

It had made me a little upset that he was trying to force Perth to have feelings like that with him when he knew that Perth didn't see him that way and I didn't want to get caught in the middle of one of those conversations again. I already know that whenever he decides to do that, Perth is not going to be happy.

The silence was refreshing as I pulled off my scrubs and began to change into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. I had woken up in pain so I wanted to be comfortable which is why I'm wearing the loses sweats I could find in my closet.

That just reminded me of the main reason I shouldn't be with Perth. Six months ago I was informed that I needed to get a Craniectomy done which is an invasive surgery that requires removing a portion of the skull to inspect the brain but that is one of the hardest surgerys to perform and to my fucking luck I was the only one at my old department that would be able to do it.

Sooo, as of right now I could actually die at any moment if I don't find someone to help me. As of right now though I have no one good enough to trust with it though. Everyone that I use to work with told me that I shouldn't be working still and that I need to try to not be active as much as possible but I love my job too much and I don't want to die with any regrets.

I haven't been able to gather the courage to tell my family yet though, I didn't even tell Moon when I was with her. There was always that tiny amount of hope in the back of my head that was telling me that I could find someone before then but I don't think I can find anyone at this point.

My life is literally a ticking time bomb and that's why ive been so panicky and unstable lately.

I save people every day but I'm scared to die...

Taking a deep breath I gather the rest of my things and push all of those thoughts out of my head, I had told myself that I wasn't going to allow myself to think about those things anymore.