Conflicted Hearts - RA Sequel (completed) 18+

Part 24

**Gulf's POV**

**One Month Later**

Off: He walks over to me by the kitchen table and sighs sadly before pulling the papers away from me. "You need to stop looking at these. All its going to do is mess you up even more than you already are. Why don't you try and get some rest? I haven't seen you sleep more than 3 hours a night the past three weeks you've been staying with us, Gun and I are worried about you."

Gulf: I just look up at him not really feeling anything but empty like I have since Mew left. "Can I have my papers back?..."

Off: He folds them up and holds them behind his back. "You know I'm not going to give these to you. He told you to send in the divorce papers and you still haven't done it. All of the videos and news feeds have gone away because of the deal he made, you should be using this time to be building yourself up again not walking around like a zombie."

Gulf: "I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing now though... He is everything to me and now that I haven't seen him in so long I feel like I'm just in a really bad nightmare that I should be waking up from any minute now." I glance over at him until I realize that I was beginning to cry. "I-I just w-want to wake up Off..."

Off: He kneels down so that we were at eye level and wipes away the tears on my cheeks. "Gulf... Please, for the sake of everyone around you. Please try to get past this, seeing you like this is killing everyone. Your parents only stayed a few hours when they visited last week because they couldn't be in the same room as you without crying. Gun and I are trying our best to support you but we can't stand to see you self-destructing like this. Do you still want to go through with this adoption."

Gulf: All I could do was nod my head as I begin to hiccup. "I-I want to be a dad..."

Gun: He walks over to me from the door way and sits on the side of the table as he clasps my shoulder. "Then be a dad, pull yourself together. Go home and find a job, than baby proof your house and prepare to be a dad because that baby will not be able to take care of itself, it is going to need you. A helpless human being is going to need you soon. So please start working on rebuilding yourself before it's too late."

Gulf: "You don't think I'm going to screw this all up?"

Both: "I think your going to make a great dad."

Gulf: My lip begins to quiver as I pull them both into a hug before sobbing against their shoulders. "Thank you...

I didn't know who it was but someone was rubbing the top of my head as I sob for what felt like hours.

They were right and I knew they were right.

I needed to pull myself together and try to re-find myself so that I can feel whole again without Mew's presence in my life...

After he left that night I spent a week searching for him until I passed out on the street one day from exhaustion and starvation.

Once I was discharged from the hospital I moved in with Off and Gun for about 3 weeks now and all I've been able to do Is live in the bed and cry. Mew had been the center of my life for so many years that I had forgotten that I am also a person. I've been so wrapped up in trying to find him and worrying about whether or not he's eaten or slept that I have completely forgotten about myself.

Gun was right though, at the state that I am in right now, I don't deserve to call myself a dad or expecting dad. I really need to get my shit together and make a good example of myself.

Gulf: I finally let go of them as I take a deep breath to calm myself. "I think I should go home tomorrow..."

Off: Looking worried. "Are you sure?"