Conflicted Hearts - RA Sequel (completed) 18+

Part 26

I miss him...

I know that what I've done to both Tong and Saint has not been fair but now that I haven't had Saint in my life for nearly a month I have realized that I don't think I can go much longer without seeing him.

Ever since I stopped us from having sex and Saint walked out of my house feeling mistreated. I haven't been able to see or talk to him. He ended up getting his shifts switched at work and he stopped coming over to my house every night.

Now I'm back to how I use to be, all closed off and don't do anything other than work. At the time I hadn't been paying attention to what I was doing but I guess I had actually been talking to others and going out more often because I had to go shopping more and there were always little things that Saint had wanted. Who knew one person could have changed my routines so much without me even noticing it...

All I've been able to think about is how he had accused me of loving him back and how he knew I cared about him. In that moment all I had wanted to do is tell him that I loved him but I stupidly decided to change the subject instead.

I couldn't figure out why I felt so guilty about ending things with Tong. Believe me I did try to end things with him a few times but every time his mood changed to being sad I felt sooo fucking bad and just couldn't do it. It might be the fact that I know he is loving me even though he knows I don't love him, that takes a lot of will power for someone to do and I just feel like such a fucking asshole...

Currently I was shuffling through one of my patients documents to make sure everything was okay when Mai walks up to me.

Mai: "Hey Dr. Suppasit, Have you seen Dr. Suppapong anywhere? He never showed up to work today, we were supposed to do 3 surgery's today but no one has seen him."

Perth: "Uhm, no I haven't seen him. Has he not called in sick yet?"

Mai: She shakes her head and hands me a spread sheet. "I've noticed that he has been looking a little weird lately but I didn't think too much about it because he was really excited about this procedure we have to do today. So I just thought everything was fine and that he was just stressed about work. Now that he's not here though, I'm kind of worried."

Perth: I could feel myself beginning to get worried too as I hand her back her papers. "Are you able to reschedule his procedures for another day?"

Mai: "I can but only two of them. There's this one." She hands me a different piece of paper. "This one needs to be done as soon as possible so there are no reschedule days available."

Perth: I look at the time that it was scheduled and it was right before my other procedures so I would have time to do it as long as nothing goes wrong. "Follow me."

Mai: She looked confused as she follows me to the elevator. "Where are we going?"

Perth: I pull out my phone and text Dr. Tan to let him know what was going on as I glance at her with a smile. "I'm going to do the surgery."

Mai: "You're going to do it??"

Perth: "Yea, why is that so surprising?"

Mai: "I mean I guess it's not since you are the one that took over his work when he took those two weeks off after the accident. It's just strange though because you never help anyone with their work, not even Tong for that matter and you guys are together."

Perth: Whispering under my breath before I realized I said it out loud. "Because I don't love Tong..."

Mai: She glances over at me. "What?"

Perth: Shit... "Nothing."

She was silent the rest of the elevator ride until we got to the operation room but I could see that what I had said was bothering her. Thankfully I had gotten the green light from Dr. Tan so I was able to prepare right in time for it to start.