Conflicted Hearts - RA Sequel (completed) 18+

Part 32

**Gulf's POV**

**One Week Later**

There were only a few days left before the adoption process was complete and I still had no idea how I actually felt about Mew being back, like yea I was happy to see him and things felt more normal but at the same time they didn't.

Like I wanted to forgive him but something inside me was keeping me from doing so.

Thankfully the whole mess with Max was officially over though because his dad had sent Mew a text saying that his son will not be causing us anymore problems.

So that's super reassuring.

We never actually finalized our divorce papers so we were still legally married because I honestly never had the guts to send them in like I had said I would. Which is fine because  Mew was never going to have the papers finalized to begin with, I guess the divorce lawyer was Steve's brother and Mew had told him to just hold onto the papers that way I thought we were actually getting divorced.

It was a little fucked up if you ask me.

Which is why I haven't been able to fully open myself up to him yet.

As of right now I have allowed him to sleep in the same bed as me and we can eat meals together but other than that we weren't making much progress. I would tell him to sleep on the other side of the bed and sit on the other side of the couch but somehow he would always end up cuddling me in the end.

I do feel a little bad about a few days ago though, I had just woken up and felt his dick pressed against my ass. Sooo I sucker punched him hard in his sleep. I had kind of forgotten that morning wood existed...

Yep other than kissing him that one time when he showed up after I hit him with a baseball bat, I haven't really allowed us to be intimate and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Yesterday he had caught me jerking off in the shower and had offered to help me but I turned him down.

I couldn't understand why but It wasn't that I didn't want him to touch me which is probably what he thought. I was shy for him to touch me...

It has been a while and now that my emotions are all over the place about where we stand, my feelings about sleeping with him is like they were when we had first met.

I don't want to sleep with him just because I miss the feeling of having someone. I want to be able to feel as comfortable around him as I was before this whole mess started where I could walk around naked and not give a flying fuck.

Now I can't even walk around the house without a shirt on or I can feel my face turning red.

It's so frustrating...

Mew: He looks over at me while we sit on the couch watching one of his favorite movies. "What's for dinner tonight?"

Gulf: "I'm not really sure, I was going to eat left overs but I don't know if I want left overs anymore."

Mew: He starts to get up. "I can make you whatever you want."

Gulf: I just hold up a hand as I stand and make my way to the kitchen. "No it's okay, I'll make dinner. You just watch the movie."

He was silent as he turns back toward the movie while I pull open the fridge.

What should we eat??

That's when an idea popped into my head and I silently smiled to myself as I pull out the ingredients and begin to prep everything. I was maybe half way done prepping when I could feel Mew's arms wrapping around my waist as I continue to cut the vegetables.

Mew: Whispering into my neck. "What are you making?"

Gulf: I wave the knife around as an example. "You know it's not smart to hug someone when there holding a knife."

Mew: I felt a shiver run up my spin when he presses his lips to my neck. "Oh come on you couldn't stab me just for giving you a little bit of affection now would you?"

Gulf: I could feel a small smile forming on my lips but I force it to go away after a few seconds. "I could if I really wanted to."

Mew: "It's a good thing you don't want to then."

Gulf: I was done with his little word games as I set down the knife and let out a sigh. "Mew let go of me..."

Mew: He was silent for a second while having a firm grip on one side of my hips before turning me around so that I was facing him as he whispers with a sad expression. "What do I need to do to get you to forgive me?"

Gulf: Whispering back as my heart begins to hurt a little more. "Give me actual time to process this so that I can see you the way I use to, if that's even possible still..."

Mew: That seemed to work because he drops his hands from my waist as he backed away and headed back to the couch. "I'm sorry, I just miss you..."

That made me want to cry but I sucked it up and just continued to cook as he silently watched tv.

Dinner didn't take too long thankfully.

All there was left to do was plate it and then give it to Mew but for some reason I ended up standing at the kitchen counter longer than I needed, it was almost like my legs were afraid to move.

Once I saw him look over at me that's when my legs decided to work and I headed over to the table before placing everything down on the table.

Mew: He was looking at me intently before glancing at the food Infront of him. "Are you okay?"

I just awkwardly nod my head as I begin to eat.

I could see that he didn't fully believe me but I didn't care, this was what he was getting right now. If he didn't like it then he can leave...

Fuck man, why can't I just forgive him already.

This Is so aggravating...

I guess I was shaking because he had stopped eating as he stands up to go over to the closet and pulls out a blanket before wrapping it around my shoulders and then sitting back down next to me.

This time he was sitting close enough to me where our arms were touching and I found it odd that it didn't bother me but I saw it as progress.

Maybe we really do have to restart everything and relearn each other like back then.

I needed to learn how to trust him with my heart again...