Conflicted Hearts - RA Sequel (completed) 18+

Part 33

**Mew's POV**

He was driving me insane, yes I understood that he was still upset with me but what exactly am I supposed to do? I've apologized to him countless of times to see if that could help but it didn't really do much.

I wanted to show him my affection that I still loved him and that I always have but I don't think he believes me when I try to do something kind for him.

At least he didn't hit or threaten me with a knife today.

Then again we haven't really done anything except lay in bed and stare at the ceiling because he didn't want to get up yet. Today was Kaownah's birthday so he wasn't very motivated to begin with. At least this was something that was the same as every year. He usually stayed in bed all day until it was time to sleep and then he would stay up all night and not sleep until the next day. It was like he wanted to spend the entire day to dedicate it to his friend.

Which wasn't a bad thing.

I was just staring at the ceiling when he rolls onto his side and just stares at me.

Gulf: He nervously pokes my hip before whispering. "Can you hold me? I don't like being alone today..."

Mew: I pull him to me as he wraps one leg over me and rests his head against my chest as I rub his back. "You don't have to ask to hold me, you can hold me whenever you want. I won't stop you..."

Gulf: He just sighs into my chest as he stares at the wall across from us. "I know, I just felt like I needed to ask."

Mew: "Why?"

Gulf: "Do we have to talk about this right now?"

Mew: Not realizing that his weird mood swings were actually affecting me more than I had thought I push him onto his back as I hover over him. "Why can't we talk about it? Shouldn't we be talking about these things as soon as we can. There's only a couple of more days before we figure out the gender of the baby and then bring them home. Don't you want to be on good terms by the time they come home?"

Gulf: I could see that he was upset that I was now half laying on him because he had his arms pressed into my chest to keep me from being flat against him. "Mew your too close..."

Mew: He continued to push me away as I lean down and rest my head against his neck before whispering. "I don't understand Gulf... I try to understand you but I cant. I don't know how this can be too close to you when I've been way closer to you before. All I want to do is hold you, it's not like I'm some big evil guy that wants to hurt you or someone that is using you for sex. I am your husband that loves you very much and wants to make up with you."

Gulf: he looks me blankly in the eyes. "You're the husband that left in the middle of the night asking for a divorce so you could use me as bait to lure out the bad guy for something that we were already getting past..."

Mew: I flinched a tiny bit as lean down to kiss his nose. "You know why I did it though and now everything is okay. We have nothing left to worry about except for ourselves."

Gulf: He slowly begins to cry underneath me as he moves a hand up to cover his mouth. "I just don't know how to love you anymore. I don't trust you like I use to and it hurts so much Mew..."

I could feel the sadness creeping into my mind as I try to calm him down and myself as I lean down to gently kiss his cheeks one by one and then the tip of his nose before ending with his forehead. When I was done I could see that his eyes were still watery but he had stopped sobbing so I thought that he had calmed down which is why I leaned down once more to press a more rough and hungry kiss to his lips.

He sucked in a soft breath as he subconsciously sucks on my lower lip before grabbing my shoulders and knees me hard In the groin.

With immense pain between my legs I fall over onto my left side as he crawls off the bed and heads for the closet.

Gulf: "You just don't listen do you? I said I needed time didn't I? All I had asked for was a hug and for you to hold me, I needed to do this at my own past but you continue to break my boundary's and its pissing me off. I want to restart with you but you expect too much too quickly." As I'm groaning in pain on the bed he pulls on a coat and his shoes before grabbing his keys off the side table. "I have decided that I don't want to be here for the rest of the day so I'm going to go visit kaownah for the day. Don't expect me to be home any time soon..."

I wanted to tell him to wait but I couldn't form words because fuck he had kneed me hard and it was really hard not to cry.

Is he ever going to stop hitting me or is this going to be a new thing that I'm going to have to get use to because I don't know if my body can handle so much abuse these days. Hopefully when he comes home he will be more cooled off so I can try to talk to him again. 

I don't know why he keeps getting angry, like yes I know what I did in the past was pretty fucked up but I've been trying to make up for. 

Shit, what the fuck am I suppose to do to fix this exactly? 

Every time I ask him he just says time but I already stayed away from him for a month so that the video of him sleeping with Max wouldn't be spread around.

I don't want to spend any more time apart from him.

Why cant he just love me like he use to...