Shuichi Saihara x Reader ONESHOTS

{250K Reads Special} Depressed!Shuichi

Warning: Mention of suicide. No attempts or actions, just a mention.
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"Shuichi... what's this?" You asked, holding up a notebook with a fading cover. It was clearly several years old and you were curious about the contents, though you wouldn't open it without Shuichi's permission.

"Oh... that's the notebook I wrote in for therapy," Shuichi explained a bit sheepishly, "Near the end it turns more into a diary... it's kind of embarrassing."

"Can I read it?" You politely requested, still gently holding the black notebook. Shuichi put a hand to his chin in thought before he finally came to a decision.

"Okay, you can read it. Just don't tell anyone else about it, alright?"

September 5

I'm supposed to keep a journal to write things down when I'm feeling sad or depressed. I'm not sure why, but that's what my therapist said. So... here goes nothing, I guess.

Right now I'm feeling depressed, but I don't know why. Maybe it's just because I'm dreading school. Whatever the reason is, I'll figure it out later. I have to go to school now.

September 6

Today was pretty much just a repeat of yesterday. I'm still in the same low mood and I had the same classes... it's kind of like a small time loop. My therapist said depression can make you feel stuck in time, so I guess I'll watch out for that.

September 7

Today was Saturday so I had the day off from school. I didn't have the energy to get out of bed for several hours, though. I was just so drained and tired for no reason even though I was able to sleep longer than I usually do. I got 11 hours of sleep and I was still tired! Maybe I'm just stressing myself out too much with homework...

September 8

I have to go back to school tomorrow since today's Sunday. I'm dreading it, but I guess everyone hates Monday.

Today was a rough day. Kaito and I got into a fight and Maki had to break it up... I don't even remember what we were fighting about. Kaito's still kind of mad at me, and I feel like I should apologize to him. Maki said I shouldn't, though.

September 10

Today's Tuesday. Yesterday went by fine, but Kaito was gone yesterday and today. He says he has some kind of astronaut training session to attend for the next few days, but he wouldn't tell us exactly when he'd be coming back. I think he's lying about what he's really doing, but I'm not going to pry into his private life. I'm just worried it was about the fight we had. What if Kaito's transferring to another school to avoid me?

September 12

Today is Thursday. I was supposed to have therapy yesterday, but they chose to be closed on 9/11 so I had my appointment today instead.

My therapist told me that I need to be more specific and write more in my journal if I want to help myself, so I'll try to write more. I just... don't know what to say. Every single day I have the same foggy, numb feeling. Sometimes I'm so numb I feel detached from the world like I'm not really a part of it. Nothing really changes from day to day, so... what am I supposed to write about?

September 13

They say that Friday is the best day of the week, but it feels like every other day to me. Life is just one routine, over and over... there's nothing exciting to it. It's all one big loop.

Kaito said he'd be back to school on Monday. Well... I have some news for him. I managed to make a friend today, her name is (Y/N). I hope Kaito gets along with her. Maki doesn't seem too open to (Y/N), but I don't mind. She's not welcome to new people and I already know that. I'm not sure how long it'll be until (Y/N) finds out I'm depressed and leaves like all my other friends, though...