Shuichi Saihara x Reader ONESHOTS

Suicidal!Reader

(Your POV)

You forced a smile on your face as you made your way into the school. Your long sleeves effectively covered your cuts that decorated your arms in a charmingly ugly fashion, and your bag hid your knife stained with your own toxic blood.

"Hey Kaede," You greeted cheerfully.

"Oh, hey (Y/N)!" Kaede smiled at the sight of you, "Whew! I'm glad you're here... I'm super nervous for my  concert!"

Kaede usually didn't confide in others so you figured she must be a nervous wreck, "You'll do fine! Remember, they named you the Ultimate Pianist because you're amazing and talented~!"

"Thanks," Kaede giggled though you could tell she wasn't exactly satisfied but her selflessness prevented her from going any further.

You and Kaede were pretty similar. You both hid what you were truly feeling.

"Shuichi!" You called, waving to the shy boy. He smiled once he saw you and Kaede.

"Hey, what's up?" Shuichi greeted once the two of you got closer to him.

"Kaede's nervous about her concert," You teased.

"I'll be okay!" Kaede grinned.

Shuichi chuckled a little bit, "Well... I'll be in the audience. I'm really looking forward to hearing you play...!"

"Awe, I'm not that good!" Kaede gushed.

You already felt like a third wheel. You stopped walking with the two and they didn't even notice, they kept walking and talking. Shuichi, your crush... obviously liked Kaede. Not you. That felt like a stab deeper than any cut you could make, and it was right in the heart. You were shattering like a fragile porcelain doll that was carelessly dropped.

"Shuichi..." You mumbled to yourself, knowing exactly where to go when you felt like this.

You made your way carefully to the rooftop and hid behind a metal wall. It was a nice little nook where almost nobody went, and you always came here when you felt depressed. Setting your bag down, you rummaged through until you found the all-too-familiar knife.

You rolled up your sleeve and looked down at your older cuts. Some were merely scars while others were freshly sliced ribbons, still bright red and healing. You didn't hesitate when you lifted the knife, nor did you flinch as you raked your knife along your skin without any mercy. You'd done this so many times it was just a routine now.

~~~

"O-oh my gosh, I didn't even notice we left (Y/N) behind!!" I exclaimed.

"So what? We can always talk to her later," Kaede shrugged, "Since it's just us now we might as well make the best of it! C'mon, we only have ten minutes till class starts!"

"No... I... I promised (Y/N) that I'd talk to her before class today..." I shook my head.

"I'm really sorry to say this, but... i-it doesn't look like she's holding up her side of this meeting," Kaede continued to try to persuade me to stay. Why did she care who I spent my time with, anyways?

"I don't care. I'm going to look for her, okay? I'll see you at the concert," I curtly nodded and left- I was on a mission to find (Y/N).

~~~

You let out a sigh. It was a rush of emotions leaving your body. So many emotions you couldn't even name them all. It wasn't like you could name your current state right now anyways. It was somewhere in a slight euphoria while all your depression danced around you as it waited for a chance to attack you once more, but the pain from the cuts blocked that out because that was all you could focus on.