Shuichi Saihara x Reader ONESHOTS

Suicidal!Shuichi x Reader

Just a few things before we start:

•Kinda a short oneshot {a little under 800 words}
•Although not a songfic, this is heavily based off of a song
•Cutting and suicide trigger warnings, but I think the title gave that away {at least the suicide part}
•If you're depressed/suicidal/cutting please go see a professional. I know a lot of people can't, which is unfortunate. In that case, please do your best to find someone who can help {they could even be fictional}
•I think that's all, enjoy
~~~

I slowly made my way to the rooftop, the school bumbling with joy seeming completely silent to me. They didn't matter to me anymore. Today I was going to do it.

Once I reached the rooftop I crept to the railing, pretending to just be admiring the view. It was more than that, though. I was going to jump... I had to do it. After Kaede had broken up with me I just couldn't handle it anymore. Maybe it sounded stupid, but-

"Hey... don't do it please..." I whispered to myself.

It didn't sound stupid, it WAS stupid. Killing myself just because I had a breakup? Just because I wanted to be greedy and get every single thing I wanted? That was just pathetic.

Feeling even more pathetic for even thinking about killing myself, I forced myself to get away from the rooftop and go home.

~~~

I was trying again today. This time... there was something new that was weighing down on me: everyone at school hated me. They left white flowers on my desk and even told me to kill myself. I was constantly pushed around and bullied.

I gripped the railing, planning to jump. I was gonna do it now... my body wouldn't move? I felt even more pathetic, not only for not even being able to attempt suicide but also for my reasons.

I was still loved by my family at home. I'd come home to my loving parents and we'd have a nice, warm dinner and chat at the table like a happy family. Jumping just because my peers didn't like me was stupid and pathetic.

Scoffing at myself, I peeled myself away from the rooftop and returned home.

~~~

This time I was gonna do it. My parents had divorced and I was left with my dad who was abusive. I couldn't handle it anymore... the reason I'd used to keep myself alive didn't exist anymore. I was just about to jump when my phone vibrated. It was my friend online.

I still had friends online. Killing myself when I still had friends when some people didn't have any at all was stupid. Was I really so weak and pathetic that I was gonna give up my life when I still had friends?

I made myself go home.

~~~

I broke my phone. My 'friends' online started to bully me and the only way to get away was to smash my phone into tiny pieces...

...But I forced myself not to kill myself. I still had my grades in school.

~~~

I tore my test to shreds, it was my third F in a row and I was starting to fail more and more classes. I had no more reasons to keep myself alive... I couldn't think of anything. I had no friends, nobody at school cared, my dad hated and abused me, I was failing in school.. even my body was ugly. The only thing keeping the disgusting red lines that only got bigger and bigger every day when I got home concealed was my coat.

All I wanted was for someone to just listen to my story, to my pain... but nobody cared.

"Hey, don't do it please..." I tried to whisper to myself, but it didn't matter to me anymore. It didn't do anything. I looked down at the floor to see my shoes placed nicely next to me, and then I stood on the railing.

I jumped down, but as soon as I did I was caught by someone. They struggled a lot but managed to haul me back onto the rooftop, and I got to get a good look at them. It was a girl...

"Hey... don't do that please!!" the girl pleaded, looking at me like she'd seen a ghost, "Why... would you want to kill yourself?"

"..." I didn't respond, feeling too nervous to.

"Please tell me..." the girl pressed, and my long unheard plea to be heard overpowered me. I told her the story, starting with Kaede and ending with my tests and my cuts. She listened to my whole story, not interrupting. Once I was done she suddenly hugged me, "Well... I may not be much but I'm here now, okay? So please don't do it..."

I was completely frozen in shock at her sudden declaration and movement, until I finally asked, "Wh...What's your... name...?"

"It's (Y/N).. what's your name?" the girl looked up at me, though she didn't stop giving me support with her hugs.

"I'm... Shuichi," I kind of awkwardly introduced myself, and (Y/N) smiled.

"Well.. this was a really weird way to meet but I'm glad I showed up when I did.. let's be really good friends, okay?"

~~~
Word count: 787

I dunno if I'm gonna write any more lemons for a while... I'm aware they're usually the chapters that attract the most readers {usually around double} but they're also incredibly difficult for me to write for some reason and take me like thrice as long to write.

Plus, I have an original fiction book at about 12,000 words that I haven't published yet that I'd like to focus on. For some self advertising, it's called Obsessing Over Toxins and it's about these two guys that get into a gay relationship but it ends up being toxic. All I'll tell you about my current spot is that they're not together yet, but there's a little tension.