timothée chalamet imagines

still

your pov

My mind is complicated, I find it hard to rearrange it. But I'll have to find a way somehow. I've been overreacting lately, finding it hard to say I'm sorry.

"But I'll make it up to you somehow." I said.

I'll have to if I want this to last.

He didn't say anything, just looked down at the floor while chewing on his thumbnail.

Tonight is just...horrific.

I love to overthink things until I burn myself out, always see the negative in things, never let myself be too joyful. And I don't know why I do all of those things. I wish I did know why.

We've been fighting for weeks, because of me.

I'm sensitive, my anxiety and depression are at an all time high for whatever reason. I'll snap for no reason and break down over everything.

And I don't mean to pick fights, they just happen. And they're always horrid like the one that occurred tonight.

I honestly don't know how much more he can take of all of this, of me. The way the night is heading looks like we're going to split, again.

We've "broken up" before. And by that I mean either of will storm out of whoever's apartment we're in and come back the next day to apologize.

There's never been a true split between us.

Timothée got up from the couch and paced around my coffee table before coming to pull me up, making me stand in front of him.

I didn't know what he'd say or do, he just had a blank expression on his face.

He cleared his throat. "I'm standing here with you just trying to be honest y/n, if honesty means telling you the truth; we'll, I'm still in love with you."

How abrupt.

"But what abou-" I was going to spit out all of my flaws once again, hoping that he would finally realize them, leave for good and never come back to me.

"I don't care," he interrupted and shook his head "I don't care if you overthink everything or see the negative in it all. I love you, I'll always love you."

No words could come out of my mouth, what was I supposed to say? That's sweet, thanks?

"I hate to see us like this, breaking up on nights like this," he intertwined our fingers "we should be shooting for them stars of gold."

My lips quivered, "It's killing me that we could go to war like this," I sniffled "but every night is like a war Timothée, you know that and you can't be with me like this, I won't let you."

I pulled my hands away from his, dropping them down to my sides.

"But I want to be with you like this, on all of your good days and bad nights. Forget whats comes and gone, because I hate to see us like this y/n, I really do."

"Why won't you just go?" I almost begged "I can't do this to you anymore. Please."

"You can't just get rid of me that easily, you know that. You've always known that."

He was right, nights worse and better than this have occurred and he's never truly left.

I love him so much, more than anything and anyone in the world. I don't want him to go, ever, but I just keep saying I do.

As I thought of what to say next, he grabbed my left hand and looked down at it.

I followed my eyes down there as ran his finger over the stone of the promise ring he had just gotten me a few weeks ago.

We looked up at each other at the same time, tears were running down his own face now.

"So tell me you want, a thousand miles away from the day that we started. But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest, if honesty means telling you the truth; well, I'm still in love with you." he repeated.

"I'm sorry," I cried "I'm so sorry."

He grabbed my face in his hands, pulling it close to his. Our noses were almost touching as he stared at me deeply through his tear covered and dripping eyelashes.

"So tell me you want this, y/n. Tell me you want us. Tell me you want it all, and I'll give it to you," his voice trembled "just tell me."

I gulped and sighed, closing my eyes.

Thoughts and memories of us over the past two years raced inside of my head. How could I not want this? Him? US? I wanted it all, forever.

I opened my eyes up again, his face covered in concerned still waiting for my answer.

"I want this," I nodded "I want us."

More tears escaped from my eyes as he engulfed me in a hug and held the back of my head in his hand.

My tears soaked into his t-shirt. I was basically having a full on breakdown now.

How could I be so stupid, for wanting to break up with him for good when things got bad again? How could I want to loose the one person that meant everything to me? What would I do if he really left this time?

Despite everything that I've put him through, he's still in love with me. And I don't know why, and I don't know how.

But I'm still in love with him too, I'll always be.

"We'll be alright," he rocked me back and forth in his arms "it'll be alright."

I don't really like this one, but I just wanted to do another song imagine. might delete :/