timothée chalamet imagines

nothing new

timothée's pov

I took another sip of my beer, setting the bottle down on the coffee table.

I stare at it with a blank expression, watching the drops of condensation pool around the bottom of the bottle into a small puddle.

It's a typical Friday night: I insist on staying in and then I do just that.

Why do I even bother going out anymore? All I hear is "go out and have your fun." But the second I genuinely do, my name is plastered on every headline. It's like I can't live in normalcy.

Is this what my 20's are supposed to feel like? People constantly criticizing the way I move? The way I soar in my own success? All I do is get shot down, but then get helped right back up in pity.

"He looks like he's been through it." The people whisper once my face hit cameras. No shit I've been through it, they put me through it all.

I've had too much to drink tonight, but it doesn't look like I'm going to stop.

And it's sad, I know, but all I think about is what others think about me.

I have my moments of waking in the middle of the night, feeling like the time around me is moving quickly and I can't catch up. Why did I ever think I knew everything at eighteen?

Acting like I knew this kind of life would always be easy, like it would be portrayed the way it is in the movies that I act in now.

Now I know absolutely nothing at twenty five.

I grab my grab my beer bottle and pad my way over to the bedroom, taking one of the lasts sips of my beer left.

The bottle safely rests on the nightstand as I throw myself on the bed.

"This is Friday, this is your life." I tell myself as a tear slips down my cheek. How long will crying and vulnerable in my room be considered cute and not embarrassing and non-manly?

My youth is no longer to be blamed.

My cheeks feel tired, like everything that I am. If I'm not turning red of anger or constant crying, I'm faking a smile to anyone I let get sight of me.

Is there anyone biding time until I lose all my attention? Am I still acting like this for attention?

Someone else is going to light up the room like I once did, another endearingly innocent boy who everyone loves and who will most likely turn into what I am today; there's no doubt.

More tears fall down at the thought and feeling of my situation. How did I go from growing up to breaking down?

Someday I'm gonna meet him, the boy I used to be; feeling like I'm stuck in a fever dream. He'll have that radiance you seem to only get at a certain age. He'll know his next steps and way around, say he got them from me.

I'll be happy for him, then I'll cry myself to sleep.

Maybe I've spent too much time with people, they've grown and gotten tired of me. I'm no longer a bright light, I've been dimmed down.

Before it was "You're Timothée Chalamet! You are so this and you are so that!" to "Tim's here."

Not that fame matters, but becoming as big I was to just being another someone in a room tugs at something deep inside of me.

The front door opens and I sit up, wiping my eyes quickly. I can't be bothered to dump the rest of my beer down the sink and hide the bottle from y/n, throwing it away once she falls asleep.

She walks into the room, turning on the far too bright light. "Hi." she smiles.

"Hey." I reply dryly, voice raspy.

She takes her shoes off. "Did you do anything crazy while I was gone?"

I shake my head, peering over at the beer bottle.

"No," I reply "nothing crazy."

She walks over to me, caressing my face and kissing my lips shortly. "I missed you."

I run my hands up and down her arms. "I missed you more."

She smiles back, kissing me again. She pulls away and grabs the beer bottle "Are you done with this?" she asks and I nod.

"Okay." she mumbles, following my undiscovered routine of dumping the beer down the sink and throwing it in the trash for later discarding.

I lay back down as y/n goes into the closet. She comes out a few minutes later, dressed in mismatched pajamas and turns the light off.

I feel almost comforted as her body dips into the bed and her arms wrap around me. She kisses my cheek and then I feel like things have gone back to normal for those few seconds.

I'm content, glad I have someone here with me. Glad that I have my person in my life.

But I wonder if everyone will miss me once they possibly drive me out of the business.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?" she yawns.

I sigh. "You're not tired of me, are you?"

She chuckles. "Tired of you?"

"Yeah," I reply "like you don't see anything in me that you did before?"

"I see everything in you that I did when I first met you," she says "and I see everything in you that you're becoming."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" I ask.

"A good thing," she says "change is good, I only see you getting better, I'm seeing things in you I've never seen and it's fun."

"Fun?" I ask as she chuckles.

"It's fun," she says "I'm practically seeing you grow into something bigger and better."

I sigh. "Bigger is better, isn't it?"

"What is it with all these questions?"

"I don't know," I say "just curious of what you think about me I guess."

"Well, I like you for who you are. I liked you years ago for who you were, for who you are, for who you will be. You're fascinating Timothée Chalamet, always have been; always will be."

I chuckle. "You're just saying that because I'm your boyfriend."

"I am not!" she laughs "Boyfriend or not, there's just something about you that always catches the eyes, no matter what."

That slightly lifts me out of somberness. "Will you still want me when I'm nothing new?"

"Nothing new?" she questions.

"When I'm nothing more than the guy who can casually walk into the room without disruption and not the one who gets people throw at him the second he does?"

"I'll want you when you're nothing new, I'll want you when you're the new edition," she finds my lips and kisses me once again, letting it really last "I'll want you, always, Timothée."

A/N: i really don't like this one lmfaoooaksjdksl.
YOU GUYS, THIS SONG. OMFG. it had me full on sobbing at like 3:00 a.m and it's been on replay ever since. might delete later or just pretend it doesn't exist after i publish 🧚‍♀️

STREAM: RED (TAYLOR'S VERSION)
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