The Umbrella Academy Preferences

You Bring Your Baby Home

this was requested

Diego:
You had just gotten home with your new little baby. You were in desperate need of a shower and better food than hospital food. Diego insisted you go take a shower and get comfortable while he took care of the baby. You did just that.

"Okay baby now you listen, mommy is very tired. I need you to sleep tonight okay? Daddy is scared of mommy when mommy is sleepy so you need to be a good baby and sleep. I love you very much."

You heard Diego talking to your not even a week old daughter. You peeked into the nursery and smiled a bit as Diego continued talking.

"Also, if you're gonna go poopy in your diaper, make sure you do it when uncle Luther is holding you. Not only will it be funny but it'll be cute if you're the one who ruins his clothes."

"Diego, why're you already trying to force our newborn to torment your brother?"

"Babygirl, tell mommy that it's important to make you do daddy's dirty work because it'll be cute when you do it."

Luther:
You'd only been home an hour and you were just now taking a shower. The babies wanted to be fed and of course held. Luther the poor guy was clueless as to what to do but after a few minutes of awkwardness figured it out so you could unwind as best you could. You just wanted to relax.

"Boys, daddy loves you but you need to be nice to mommy. I know you love the boobies but she's very tired and sore. Please be more considerate of your mommy right now. We still love you a lot, though."

You chuckled as you watched him dress them in cute little onesies from the doorway of the nursery. It was an interesting sight to watch unfold.

"Your mommy didn't go through all that pain for you to be mean. Daddy doesn't like mommy cranky because then mommy is very scary to daddy. Please save daddy and be nice to mommy."

"Luther, I'm not that mean to you when I'm cranky."

"Little guys, please inform mommy that daddy is very sensitive and that if you're mean to her then she'll be mean to me and I just might cry."

Five:
It was an experience coming home for the first time with your baby. First she threw up all over the couch and your lap within the first hour. Five was grossed out by the puke but took your daughter anyway and told you to go shower. You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or cry.

"Little one, why would you do that? I know you probably can't help it but you made mommy and the couch messy. I'll let it slide this time, but if you're going to get sick at least do it all over uncle Diego or uncle Klaus."

You leaned against your bedroom doorway as you watched Five clean your little girl. You could tell he was a natural and he was so soft with her.

"Oh how could I be mad at you? You look like a little marshmellow. Mommy doesn't need more throw up okay and daddy doesn't like it either okay? We love you but puke is yucky. Save the pukies for your uncles."

"Five, stop telling our daughter to throw up on people."

"Sweetheart, tell mommy that it's important to assert your dominance when it comes to your uncles because collectively they all share a singular brain cell that belongs to uncle Ben."

Ben:
Ben absolutely insisted that for the first two hours you were home, as long as the baby wasn't hungry he'd take him. He made you feed your newborn son and then go take a shower to relax. You were worried about leaving them alone but you knew they'd be okay.

"Baby boy, you are just so cute but you wore poor mommy out. I'm so happy mommy gave me you but you need to show more appreciation for her. She loves you and so do I but the crying little mister is not okay."

You giggled as you watched Ben softly scold your barely a week old son. Ben looked at him with such adortion that made your heart swell.

"It's manly to cry but at least wait until mommy isn't so tired. Poor mommy looks like she pulled a few all nighters but she's still beautiful. If you're going to cry please save it for when uncle Klaus babysits okay?"

"Ben, please don't corrupt our son so young."

"Sweetie, tell mommy that it's not corruption but payback for all the things uncle Klaus put me through that got me into trouble with her."

Klaus:
Klaus was scared to be left alone for only 20 minutes while you showered when you got home with your twins. You assured him he'd be okay and left them be. He was determined to not bug you and let you have a few minutes to breathe.

"Alright my children, listen up. Mommy is on the war path because she birthed you and she's tired. Now we both love you very much but you need to behave. Besides, only daddy is allowed to aggravate mommy."

You smiled as you watched him talk to the twins. You could tell he was really trying to be a good father to them already.

"If you want to be brats, save it for when uncle Five babysits. It'll be absolutely hilarious and honestly I'll even pay you to do it. It's important to start out young so you get better at it as time goes on."

"Klaus, don't teach our children to be disrespectful already."

"Kids, tell mommy it's not disrespect it's called doing daddy's dirty work so he can sit back and watch as uncle Five goes absolutely insane."