My Universe

CHAPTER 16

MOON:

       Couple of hours later, I was finally,  Mrs Moon Alexandra Kings Smith,    it was moments like this that I wondered why my name had to be Moon of all names,

   I remember the times I would want to maintain Alexandra as my only name,    I never could because grandma Louis always told me that even if I couldn't see it yet,    I was like the light that shined in a darkness,   and soon I will be the light that shines in someone's Universe,   

I remember when I won miss Universe last year she was so excited about it, then she told me I was the moon lightening the universe,  those were her last words to me,

I always used to laugh and call her conny,   I never believed her tails about the name to be true but I kept the name just so I could make her happy,  I still dislike it though.

Finally Adrian and I had left the toxic place we called a wedding reception,   and we were in his private jet heading to his island lord knows where,

The only word he had spoken to me was when we exchanged vows and when he said we were leaving,      almost three hours and he still ignored my existence.

I don't know exactly what hurt the most anymore,    was it when the priest said he could kiss the bride?,   he stepped forward placed a firm hand on my lower back and waist that I'm sure is spotting an injury now,  then kissed my cheek,

Or was it when he ignored me when I asked if he could wait a little for me to change into something comfortable?   He simply ignored me and walked towards the car, I turned to Jace whom I assumed saw everything, he simply gave me a sad smile and nodded for me to go,

I knew it would be difficult but this was a bit too much, 

Once I got into the Jet, the stewardess smiled at me then directed me to a room where a jogger one piece was placed on the bed ,   she said Jace had sent them saying it will be a long ride and I needed to be comfortable,

I almost cried at Jace's thoughtfulness,  I heaved a sigh then went to the bathroom to change,   when I got out the stewardess was gone so I made my way back to take my sit beside my husband. 

.   That sounded strange.

I watched him work with so much concentration that it made me think how he was able to handle a relationship with Arabella,   all the time I got to see him he was always working or brooding,

After a couple of minutes I realized he had no plans of talking to me So I turned on my computer and started working as well,     no matter what he does I plan on changing this dynamic between us so he better relax while he still can.

While I was signing some emails I had stumbled upon a sponsor request from a less privileged home I'd once visited,   when I got to that place I realized how cruel some families truly are,   

Most of those kids had experienced panic attacks to the point where they now had a breathing disorder,  some others were victims of different levels of abuse,    mostly inflicted by their parents or relatives,  people who were supposed to show them love and care,     but yet they were abandoned and left to defend themselves against whatever life threw at them,    this was a total reminder of my own life,

my parents weren't always this cold towards me,   they had began treating me this way when they were told of my health situation,   

slowly they began pulling away from me as though I had a virus or something,

I was probably five or there about when I had my first episode,   and I think that's where it all started going down hill for me, at first they stopped taking me to events cause they didn't want to be in a situation where I would suddenly have an episode because someone did or said something overwhelming,

Then it progressed to total negligence,  they stopped attending my school plays or whatever the school would invite them for but when they do show up they would only pay attention to Meghan,

Then again they progressed to separation,   They took Meghan to the Academy while I remained alone in my high school,   I guess that's when I lost them for good cause whenever I would invite them to a parent's teacher's meeting in my school they would give a million and box reason why they couldn't make it,   but somehow they would have the time to attend Meghan's,

It kept on that way until they asked me to move in with my grandma Louis,  they said it was for a short time, I was happy to an extent because at the time I was just a wall flower in my home, I had no idea that while I was living with grandma Louis my family were actually on Vacation,

I rarely ever saw them anymore unless It  was at those events they would always attend,
Sadly Whenever grandma would take me to an event and I got the chance to see them, it was like I was a total stranger to them,

Then one day I guess I got tired of the ill treatment and decided to confront them about it,    a decision I shouldn't have made because it was the day they told me how embarrassing I was to the family,   

I remember when my mom had told me that she couldn't stand the shame if we were together and I suddenly start having my episodes, then she'd have to be seen with those mini tanks I have everywhere,    she didn't want people to see something like that,

I was beyond broken after that day,  It  was so bad that I went to therapy because Jace had forced me to,   he said he didn't want me regressing into depression and self pity,    truly it was helpful indeed but in the end it couldn't fix the pain,

I spent the next eighteen years hiding my health situation from the public,    working hard to prove to my parents that I was worthy of their love, and in the quest to find a cure I experienced the darkest point of my life,   after that phase I focused more on learning to control my health although i still tend to have episodes whenever I'm truly overwhelmed or over exerted emotionally or physically.

All that has been pointless cause it never brought them back to me.

It  is finally time to stop hiding,  those children need more tanks at the home,   they needed someone who understood their situation to speak for them,   even if I could buy the tanks for them they still needed to be heard,   people need to understand that A Breathing Pattern Disorder is absolutely no one's fault,     it could have been anyone

With that decision made I wrote an email telling the matron to leave the event to me,  

What better way do  you please rich people if not by giving them a chance to flaunt their fat cheque books,   I will make it more like an auction and a donation ball,

Then I will close the night by telling the world the one thing I've held onto for so long,

I had nothing to lose anymore  except of course  Jace, Mace and Probably Adrian, it's not like I knew my place in his life but I am choosing to believe I've got him, 

Adrian might decide he didn't want to be with me anymore but I know it will be all worth it, especially if I'll be giving those kids a chance at a life I never truly had.

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And stay beautiful or handsome...
That's all you gotta do for me