Chapter 10
Notes:
chapter word count: 18k (sorry)
Reference material:
Hoseok 181106 (the suit)If you want the full romcom effect, scenes marked with (***) have songs to accompany the visual - not necessary, but recommended. listen in order of:
1. stolen x dashboard confessional
2. anything could happen x Ellie Goulding
Chapter Text
Hoseok has a dilemma and he didn't know what the fuck to do. All he knew is that he was royally screwed either way and he thought he was just starting to get the hang of this. His stomach was in knots and his mind was weeded and he was just, irrevocably fucked from all angles. Why is it his critical, swift on his feet thinking and all the other skill sets his high school counselors had included on his letter of recommendations never seemed to kick in when it came to you?
Did he tell you before the evening started and ruin your night or wait for Taehyung to spring it on you later so you could at least enjoy the very beginning? Either way he could see this unraveling, piece for piece-Taehyung would embarrass you, you'd shut down and act like it didn't hurt and Hoseok would be back at square one. In all honesty, Hoseok wouldn't even have a square to be back at because you didn't seem like the fool-me-twice type. You would just cut him off.
And then there was Roa. How things got so irreversibly fucked between them and why confused him. It felt so left field. But what confused him more is how fucking bad he felt. Everything he said needed to be said. Everything she did today was out of line and he couldn't unsee the ugly parts of her she displayed to him. It's not that he didn't know they were there, Hoseok wasn't blinded to it. He knew Roa wasn't perfect despite her calm and cool demeanor. She was human and Hoseok was positive she wouldn't like to see the parts of him that weren't nice and perfectly crafted either. She was like you in the sense that she was a really great actress, but just like that he saw through it. Maybe that's why Roa thought Hoseok was in love with you.
And then there was that. That bomb she'd dropped on him had been nearly as earth shattering as the fact that Roa had gone along with whatever the fuck happened at lunch today. Hoseok isn't in love with you, of that much he's sure. Does he feel something for you? Yes. He couldn't deny that. Hoseok's grown to care for you, a lot and in a short amount of time. But it wasn't the same as Roa. Hoseok would know if he's in love because it should feel the same shouldn't it?
"Fuck," he murmurs, wringing his hands together.
Your parents house was as massive as he remembered it being-but granted, Hoseok had chosen a relatively small house in comparison to most, and even then it was still eight bedrooms. He was never much of a fan of houses so big you could hide on one end of it and never be found, and wasn't that ironic? He preferred smaller, more intimate, familial homes as to all sleek, crisp white and polished ones. They always seemed to have a sterile aura to them but your family was different. Maybe that's why you were so different.
Because despite the grossly disproportionate bedroom to family member ratio, your childhood home is warm. Like someone had breathed life into it. He compares it to his house at the beginning of the year and comes to the conclusion it isn't the size or even the number of people living in it... but if there was no love or affection it made all the difference in the world. When Hoseok really thinks about it, he probably should've had a better understanding of you based on what he saw of your family growing up. You were warm to the touch, loving, gentle and kind and responsible and-
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