𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒 | 𝐊- 𝐏𝐎𝐏

𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗂𝗑𝗍𝖾𝖾𝗇

Your First Time - Namjoon
nitaescence
Summary:
Your child's first days at home.

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No one warns you, really. Even if they do, nothing actually compares to it - the moment you feel your insides being ripped apart, your body, a mass of sweat, spasms and convulsions, only driven by the need to subdue that terrible pain, your frail consciousness attempting at making sense of the different instructions targeted at you, the loss of conception of time while you are told when to breath, when to push, when to rest.

No one warns you either about the overwhelming feelings rushing through your body the instant you hear squeals - powerful cries of pain torn from air suddenly filling up empty lungs for the first time - and let your eyes linger on the little body so delicately yet very quickly stretched out on your sweaty breasts for you to behold and to make up for the loss of your belly warmth; the human being you have been creating inside you; your brain seemingly annihilating the memory of pain, leaving only a sense of alleviation, relaxation and sheer happiness.

When you look up, your other half seems just as affected, his vision hazy with tears of joy, smiling from ear to ear at the sight displaying in front of him. He is offered to cut the umbilical cord which he does with weak fingers, moved. His kiss is shaky and wet when he leans in to reach your forehead, a shy finger tracing very lightly the roundness of your newly born baby boy's cheek.

A small beanie is carefully put on his small head while he calms down progressively, as soon as he feels the welcoming warmth of your skin, perceives the soothing sound of your familiar voice and now, snuggling up into you, he tries to partially open his eyes but the light is too harsh still.

After months of eager anticipation, doubt and questions, the little reunion has already come to an end when your precious little one is taken from you for medical check ups. With a tired smile, you encourage Namjoon to follow the midwife and not let your son alone in a world that must seem so cold to him.

Tears flow down uncontrollably while nurses clean you up. Everything still seems so unreal, you sense an indescribable happiness burgeoning within you yet along with a feeling of emptiness and somehow a little bit of depression.

Your little one is just a couple feet away from you, getting weighed, measured and given a small band with the name you have chosen for him around his very tiny ankle. You gaze at him, fascinated, as Namjoon's deep voice helps your son settling down as he calls his name when his cries have increased in volume once again.

It seems like an eternity before he is given back to you to cuddle with, skin to skin. You are left alone with Namjoon to share intimate, precious moments together.

Seung Min feels incredibly warm on your chest. Your eyes well with tears all over again while you hover your hands over his vulnerable figure, already so frightened to do a wrong move that could hurt him. You coo softly at him, watching endearingly the way his tiny tongue pokes out every now and then and his tiny hand tightening his hold around Namjoon's pinky finger.

It feels yet too soon when the midwife comes back in the room to help you learn how to properly hold your child when breastfeeding him. Your husband does miss a thing as he records and snaps every second of that day, feeling just as scared as you and proud of you for bringing to life such a perfect gift. It is as if suddenly his life takes on its full meaning; a thin veil lifting at last.

"Here we are." Announces Namjoon with a very soft voice while getting inside your home. You close the door behind you and take your coat off while he goes to settle the baby seat carrier in the living-room.