𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒 | 𝐊- 𝐏𝐎𝐏

𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗁𝗎𝗇𝖽𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝗂𝖿𝗍𝗒 𝗈𝗇𝖾

Chapter 32: To The Point Of Tears

After each member has hair and make up done, they line up in front of their respective chairs and speak to a few of the staff in black clothing. One of the staff opens a small thin case and each member reaches in and removes a different colored microphone. She watches the set up curiously. After Taehyung takes his microphone, he looks up at her from across the room. He motions to the others that he will be a moment and he jogs across the short span of distance, mic in hand, to reach her. She smiles up at him.

"So I'm going to get another chance to hear you sing," she says, allowing him to take her hands in his. He nods.

"But this is our own music. I hope you like it, I helped write this song." She smiles so overwhelmed at the idea and it warms his heart. He kisses her on the cheek quickly and dances back to join the others. He winks at her as he sits down. The hive of activity slows and staff members begin to leave the space in front of the cameras as the members sit down on the tall chairs behind them. The room begins to quiet. One man, possibly a Director, stands in front of them.

"You can say hello and greet ARMY, but we won't start the intro to the performance until we reach five million viewers, so just speak to each other about the album until we give the signal. RM, you will watch for the signal and wrap up any discussion before you introduce the song," he explains. They nod, and smile over to each other casually.

She wonders how they can feel so calm when literally millions of eyes will be on them, live, no second chances, in a matter of moments. The Director counts down from ten and points at them as the room becomes silent. They sit facing the camera, the only sound is the still camera taking shots of them. They sit for a long moment, staring forward and she wonders what's going on. Namjoon nods at the camera and waves a greeting. The others begin to say greetings and speak to each other as though they aren't on live all across the world.

They only speak for a few sentences before the Director gives Namjoon a signal and he nods again. She thinks it's not possible to already have five million viewers, they've only been live for maybe a minute and she looks over at a staff member holding a tablet in her hands with the image of them on the screen. She looks down and can see a fast moving chat log and hearts counting up. She stands quietly and looks a little closer, trying not to disturb. When the staff member notices her, she holds the tablet out for her to view it and she can see the numbers ballooning on the top of the chat: six million, seven, seven and a half, nine...it increases with each passing second. She stares at the screen in awe as they sit together talking comfortably about the song and when it was recorded. Taehyung speaks, his voice is deep and soulful.

"I was having a hard time when I was working on this song. I was feeling a little sad and wondering if there was meaning in life. I hoped I could find it." He tells the camera. She watches the monitor and looks up at him concerned.

"Taehyung, don't worry ARMY, you aren't sad anymore," Jimin says in response. He shakes his head, smiling.

"No, I'm feeling very hopeful. I think you have to be open to a better future and it will come," he says making the shape of a heart with his hands in front of his chest and pushing it out towards the camera. "Suga and I wrote this song together." Yoongi nods, looking over to him and speaks.

"I would send him bits of music late at night and he would send me bits of lyrics, and we built the song over a few nights of no sleep." He laughs and Taehyung grins, remembering.

She smiles watching him. She steps back to her chair and quietly takes a seat. The Director holds up a sign that says "30 million!" She can see their faces react momentarily and then return to their professional personas. How can thirty million people be watching them right now? That's the size of several small countries, she wonders. They're watching from every corner of the earth. Yet the men in the chairs all seem to be accustomed to this. It's not strange to them. The people on staff are going on with their business, also unfazed by the numbers.

"We would like to sing the new song for you now, and we hope you like this version." Namjoon says, big dimples punctuating his smile. The others drop their heads for a moment in silent preparation and she hears a track begin to play, with soft slow music. Not the fast paced pop she was perhaps expecting. The tune is sweet and Jungkook begins to sing, his voice filling the room, strong and powerful. She smiles listening to the lyrics, able to pick out most of the meaning. Jimin follows, his voice is higher, perhaps more angelic, and she wonders how his speaking voice can be so much deeper when he can clearly hit very high notes.

When Taehyung begins to sing, she listens intently to the lyrics, wondering at the sadness he was feeling when writing. His voice dances around the melody, in and out, matching it beat for beat. She smiles listening to him and relieved at enjoying the music. He sings a line that connects to the song's chorus and it stops her, with a sudden jolt of recognition,

"Live to the point of tears," They sing in English.

She knows the words, very well. She blinks hard at the connection. She looks up at him, awestruck. He smiles as the song continues and she sits dumbfounded on the edge of her seat thinking about those words. He can't know. There is no possible way he could understand her connection to that quote.

The rest of the performance is a blur to her and her mind races with thoughts. She looks up to see that the song has finished and they are saying goodbye to the viewers, now at 33.8 million. She stands up as she sees them stand up from their chairs, laying their mics down and talking with each other and with staff. She waits for Taehyung to return to her. Several people block his path across the room and he smiles, politely, and moves them out of his way as he makes a beeline for her. He wraps his arms around her and he looks into her eyes expectantly.

"What did you think of the song?" He smiles, a little excitement in his voice. She looks up at him, tears in her eyes. He looks back at her confused.

"Live to the point of tears?" she repeats the chorus. He smiles. "The quote from Albert Camus?" He nods, a little surprised. He pulls her closer, brushing her hair off her shoulder. "Taehyung, that's the quote on the urn with my Grandfather's ashes."