Joy And Pain [COMPLETED]

Pain Vs Joy

Pain

Damn, I know Joy ass was mad but honestly, it was like I halfway cared.

I do and say stupid shit sometimes and that was definitely one of those moments.

Shawty ass was mad as fuck. The look on her face said it all. Man, I wasn't thinkin straight when Sarah said she wanted to come home with me.

She was telling me all this freaky shit so you know a nigga was curious. I was just on some dumb shit after a few drinks. I honestly forgot about Joy. What everyone keeps forgetting is I'm not used to her ass. Then every day I gotta see her just chilling looking at me like I'm some sort of superhero. Then after a while, she looks disappointed.

After a few days of it, I couldn't stand it. I just wanted a break.

I been consistently at the trap just tryna stick to something familiar. Shit changed overnight for me but my heart keeps telling me to hustle. Trey and Sean been tryna send my ass home like Ima kid so I been hittin the clubs wit some young niggas. They wild but they cool.

The other night I came in high looking at her. I ain't even gone lie she bad pregnant or not. I knew she missed me. Well old new me? Really I just wanted to know what she felt like. Hell, we havin a baby and I don't even remember sleeping with her. I'm not going to lie that shit was amazing.

Gotta be cause she's pregnant or some cause the pussy was everything. Shit if she wasn't already pregnant I'd def put another one in her. Hell, I see how we got where we were.

I kept it brief wit shawty conversations and everything but honestly shawty just seemed unfamiliar and it scared me.

I was sleeping next to a stranger who knew me but I didn't know her.

Yea everyone told me she was good and trustworthy all these things but who was she?

Was I scared to know? Or did I really care to know?

I wasn't sure but as the mother of my child, she deserved better then than that.

But then again I wondered, did she? Who was she? Why would I propose to her of all women? What made her special?

Joy:

I was over selfish ass, Isaac.

He literally pushed me to my limit.

I loved Pain but Isaac? He was completely different. I see what he meant now when he told me he had changed. If I only knew how different he had been...

I mean I guess this is the hand I was dealt. I should've listened to my mind when it said to be cautious with my heart.

I thought nothing could stop me from loving him but really he's makin it easy. I tried to talk to him since we've been home. He didn't care. He said he wasn't a 'talker'. I tried to do something with him he would leave me at home. He said 'you to stressed to leave'.

Like what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Now this nigga brought a woman to our home with me in it.

The shit hurt I'm not goin to lie. Just to see him allowing another woman to be hugged all up on him. He claims he forgot I was there but the nigga greeted me every day. Fucked me yesterday. It was honestly because he didn't care. Look how he did me.. That's the only thing I could think of rationally.

Really I didn't have time to try to figure out what to do with him anymore. Our son was going to be here and I needed to get ready to raise him on my own. I thought I'd have Pain but honestly, at this point, I wasn't sure which one I'd get. I just couldn't wait on something that I didn't see happening.

I needed to be real with myself.

So yeah I packed my shit up and left.

Tssk. I just can't believe this bitch Sarah. I don't get why she would pull some shit like that. I gave her so many passes. Stopped Kesha so many times and now I wish I hadn't. I already know her hoe ass probably tried suckin his dick while he was driving. She always been the hoe of the group but I'd leave it alone since it wasn't my business. But she damn well knew better tryin to fuck on him.

Soon as this baby drop I'm goin to beat that ass all over again. If I don't I damn sure know Kesh will.

Man....I am just mad and hurt.

I get his situation but the man isn't oblivious and I can't sit here stressed everyday worried he's not coming back.

I see that doesn't matter to him. So I decided to go back to a place where I could remember my Pain, not the one who took his place. I just wish he would remember cause it's killing me. I don't know how I'm sitting here engaged to a man who doesn't love me. I want my Pain back.

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