The Friendly Bean

Chapter Thirty Five

LOGAN POV

I felt like dying. Maybe I was and I just didn't know it yet. If am lucky, which I'm not, this would be a dream. I'd wake up to find Char on top of me, sleeping peacefully. Our babies would be in the next room either crying or asleep.

That night she broke up with me, I didn't want to leave her alone with the babies, so I called Jazz. I didn't want to go but I couldn't take hearing her cry anymore, knowing it was because of me. As soon as Jazz and Luke came, I left. Luke wanted to follow me but I made him stay with them.

Every time I went to spend time with our boys, she locked herself in our bedroom. She refused to even see me now. I visited a lot, not leaving until absolutely necessary. Charlotte wouldn't ask me to leave, she didn't even acknowledge me.

Putting together a lunch for her, I walked next door to the studio. The moment I entered I heard soft speaking from different voices. I made my way to where I knew they'd be, hesitating when my eyes rested on the small brunnete.

Charlotte hadn't looked up from her computer screen, allowing me some time to soak her in. Her brown hair up, tired eyes glued to her work, chin propped up on her fist while she spoke to Jazz. I fell a little more in love, hurt accompanied the fall because no one caught me.

"Hey, that for us?" Jazz gave me a small smile when she saw me, sympathy.

I nodded and handed her the food. "I j-just wanted to know if I could see the boys tomorrow." My eyes moved to Charlotte.

The sound of my voice made her glance in my direction, but she didn't look at me. I tried not on dwell on the pain that caused.

"My parents are coming over to see them tomorrow, if that's okay with you." She said, looking anywhere but at me. "I'll let you know when they leave."

I swallowed painfully. "Okay." I said quietly and turned to leave.

"Logan?" Jazz's voice stopped me just before I walked out the door. "Is it true?" She asked when I stopped.

I turned back around and looked past her. I couldn't see my brunette, but the image of her sitting there stayed in my mind. The sound of her telling me we were over, echoed loudly. The coldness I felt when I slept alone in my old apartment, left me shivering. The family I thought I had, broken.

"Doesn't matter." I muttered and left.

***

I threw my shot back, downing the last of it.

"Another." I slurred.

"I think you've had enough." A hand touched my arm.

I jerked away from the touch. I was drunk not stupid. "Fuck away, Julie."

"I'd rather fuck you instead." She leaned close to my ear.

I turned to her direction. Julie was a beauty. Such a shame her personality sucked ass. "I would have to decline. Wouldn't want to catch something." I slurred but I was sure she understood.

"Oh, come on, I missed Logan Jr. The way she pounded me and had me screaming. Such a good fuck." Her hand inched higher up my leg.

I didn't bother stopping her even when she cupped me. "Does it feel like she missed you?" I asked, suddenly feeling sober.

Her hand rubbed me, but I was as dead as a fish out of water. All my mind could focus on was Char. I knew it wasn't the alcohol because everytime Char and I drank, we fucked like rabbits.

"We could work on that." She insisted as her hand went to unzip my pants.

I looked around and saw that no one was paying us any attention. Just before she could put her hand in my pants, I grabbed her arm. "You could strip naked along with any other girl in this bar, and I still wouldn't want you or any of them."

I got up stumbling a bit, but caught my balance. After paying my tab, I very drunkenly walked to the apartment.

Could I be any more stupid? I just gave up a fuck. I could very well fuck whoever I wanted. But my heart knew better, I wouldn't be getting over that girl anytime soon.

I was dreaming. Naked Charlotte was on top of me, grinding. In my sleep I grabbed her hips and thrusted upward. I needed to get out of my clothes, soon.

"Come on, fuck me." She whispered in my ear.

But it wasn't her voice. She sounded different, which I wanted to ignore but just couldn't. I groggily opened my eyes and bolted up. Julie was half naked. On me. In my apartment. I shoved her off and got off the bed.

"What the fuck! Why are you here?! How are you in here?!" I screamed.

She giggled annoyingly and eyed my dick. I looked down to see myself hard.

"I thought you didn't want me?" She bit her lip.

"I don't." I gritted out. "I thought you were my girlfriend."

"Ex girlfriend." She corrected.

I was fuming and it took everything not to drag her out by her hair. "Get. The. Fuck. Out."

"Hm, no. Let's fuck." She walked to me.

I pushed her away. "Listen, I'm this close to beating your ass. Don't tempt me." I clenched my jaw so hard I thought it might break.

She must have seen I was serious. Julie got dressed and I walked her to the door, making sure she didn't try anything.

"You will be mine again." She stated, firmly.

This girl was psycho.

"I was never yours." I slammed the door in her face.

Suddenly, my hangover made itself known. Groaning, I went to take a shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed Julie's touches off of me. By the time I was done, my skin burned.

I walked all zombie-like to the kitchen. The place was a mess. Beer bottles, dirty dishes and broken glass from my temper tantrum a few days prior. I should probably clean but I didn't.

Instead, I took out a bottle of vodka and sat on the couch. Thinking about Char, I chugged some. The fact that she didn't trust me, another chug. Her ignoring me, another chug. I felt so alone and broken. I never once gave her a reason to doubt my love. I always did my best, even though I knew I didn't deserve her. I guess it was only a matter of time before she didn't want me anymore.

Why else would it be so easy to let me go?

The thought of who sent those pictures crossed my mind, numerous times. Julie. But nothing mattered anyway. She didn't believe me.

The worse part? I couldn't be with my boys whenever I wanted. I couldn't see them right now or help her through the nights. They were a month old now. I was missing out. I could've been over there this very instant. My bottle was empty now. I tossed it aside and laid down.

Staring at the ceiling, I let the tears fall.

-E