Her Innocence

Chap # 37 "Let's Dance?"

Janet Rivera's POV

"I really like the progress you made Kelly, I can already see a brave girl." The lady spoke with enthusiasm as her head turned around the whole bunch of people and finally landed on me.

"Janet, What progress have you made?" I gulped and tried to stay in contact with her but my mind kept drifting away as those voices in my head kept getting louder and louder. NO!

"I don't blame myself that she and my baby is dead, she died because she made me suffer and my baby got tangled along with it. It was the consequences to her action." I meant every word, for the past 3 months I have been blaming myself that she is dead and that I was the reason that I don't get to see my little bundle of joy. But I know, that I couldn't have avoided it and there is nothing I can do now to change it other than move on.

"That's very impressive, Janet." I kept my face neutral as the therapist kept talking and blabbering shit. Most of the changes in me are not caused by this therapist but by Dr. Renne as he helped me through it but he had to go back to his home country because of some family issues and I was stuck with this group therapy.

"How was it?" Nathan asked as he helped me up from my chair. I still haven't been able to walk properly after my legs were fractured bad. But as Nathan said 'Its a lot better' then yes I can drag myself and it is better.

"Shit. She makes me say the same thing again and again." I tell him as he chuckled and picked my up Bridal style, I gasped. "People are looking Nathan!!"

He didn't seem to care as he walked through the parking lot and placed me in the car. I rolled my eyes as he gave me a peck and went to the driver's side to start the car. The drive was silent as Nathan seemed like he was thinking about something, I didn't feel like ruining his thoughts so I kept listening to the soft humming of the radio while looking out the window watching the same road we take everyday.

"My love?" I hummed and turned to face him as he smiled and kept his eyes on the road. "Get ready tonight, the girls are in the house to help." I narrowed my eyes at him as he parked the car and quickly got out before I can even ask him 'why?'. He reached my side and gave me peck once again before picking me up to get in the house.

"Why all of a sudden?" I asked him. We have dates but mostly in the house. He got me flowers and gifts, even cooked for me, made me wear cute dresses, online shopping. It wasn't that he wouldn't let me out but I didn't want to go out. I felt people's gazes judging me for killing my own child and I couldn't take it.

"I just want you to go outside, a small step. It would be better for your health. Janet, I know you think this was your fault but trust me when I say this. You are the victim and I don't blame you nor does any of our friends, the people around you won't judge you for something you had no control over. " I bit my lip as I thought it over, I know I keep blaming myself and its getting hard to love myself but I want to try and not give up just like Nathan didn't give up on me.

"I want to work this out! I do but its hard too, I see them staring at me. It's hard to not imagine what my baby would look like, in my arms, in your arms. Its really sad that I won't be able to see my child even for once." I cried as Nathan hugged my body tighter in his arms. I broke down once again when I promised to not think about it. I couldn't hold my emotions once again and I let my mind drift off to my baby.

"My love, please think about me, I know its hard but I don't want you to get depressed about this. It would be a lot better to move past this, together." I nodded as he kissed my forehead making me smile. He helped me into the house and I was greeted by Bella and Valeria. They helped me dressing up and Lydia cooked delicious food for us. I smiled at the atmosphere around me, I couldn't have asked for more.