Requested by @Aozaki_Aika
I have no idea wtf I wrote—it's late—lemme slep
This is more of a Jiro and Saburo angst thingy majig tho instead of a jealousy; don't mind meeeeeeeee
Restarting. It's the opposite of finishing. What if you were to restart life? How would you act? Would you try to find a different path? Or would you suffer the same consequences by the mistakes that carry on to burden yourself? It was a choice of fate that could not happen. All unless you had the right mind to do such a wondrous but hazardous thing.
Laying upright on his bed, Saburo held his head, quivering with a mixture of fear and anger. His fists turned white while he clenched his hair. How could he leave himself to be so derived by the envy he felt? He was only fourteen! He shouldn't be this engulfed with love; he kept telling himself. Hell, he wasn't even sure if it was love anymore. Going back to the thought of how he treated you, he felt as though he was the only one in love and not you. The events that took place earlier scared not only him, but yourself too.
He didn't know that he had that side to him. He always thought he was the more cute-and-cuddly-but-talk-shit-you-get-hit type. He tried with his best efforts to be that way too, yet...that didn't seem to work out. Especially because of today. Well, yesterday. The time struck 3:04 a.m. on his computers screen that slowly flashed on and off with the rhythm of his music. He huffed before wiping away the hot tears that pooled in the corners of his eyes. He refused to cry. After all, why would he cry over something he didn't lose?
You were still with him. His brothers wouldn't leave him. What could he possibly lose over the simple plague of envy crossing his mind? Nothing. That's what he believed. He'd never become jealous of his brothers(Jiro being somewhat of an exception), and he knew that you wouldn't leave him as easily as that. But there was still a possibility that life could give him the hard end, and cause such distress and malice to him that it may just so happen. He didn't believe it. He wouldn't. He couldn't. He was still a young boy. Thriving to find his purpose in life, and enjoying the small things during the long run. Nothing pestered him too much. Sure, there was occasional bickering with his brothers, but that was what he lived with. Nothing could change that.
"Ugh..."
Saburo groaned. He heard the water faucet from the bathroom squeak before water splashed in the sink and down the drain. Who could be up at this time, washing their face and/or hands of all things? He wanted to refuse with getting up, but his curiosity got the best of him and he went to his door. Creaking the door open a bit, he saw grey sweatpants that went barely below the ankle of whoever wore them. That could be either Ichiro or Jiro...He wanted to investigate and see if it was his eldest brother, but if it turned out to be Jiro, what would he do? What would he say? He was intimidated by his older brother all of a sudden. All because of the simplistic mistake he had made.
Despite his fear, he swallowed it and jumped into the dark hallway. Rubbing his eyes so that he'd rid of the previous tears he shed, Saburo walked down the hall and eventually made his way to the bathroom. That's when he wanted to turn back—to run, to hide—and go back to his room to cry. There, in front of him, stood Jiro wiping his face with a fuzzy pale red towel. His hair was just as messy as Saburo's, and his body heaved for heavy breaths. The words his younger sibling said to him got to him devastatingly bad. Who knew that after all those fights and arguments, a simplistic phrase could get to the best of even the strongest souls?
Now, Jiro was always insecure about himself. He said it to you multiple times before. Whenever he felt upset about how different he looked from his brothers, he'd go to you for your comfort and patience. That's what had Saburo so furious with himself. He wanted you all to himself, and, with the realization after making his brother upset, he knew you didn't want that. You wanted to be with Saburo and help him the most, but you also wanted to help his own brothers too. You always had a habit of being there for anyone who needed it. Your personality might've been suggestive with your ability to get on the fine hand of people, but that's just you. You were easy to talk to, and Saburo loved that. He loved everything about you. Which is what caused his Envy to rise.
