Saorise -
Today is the last day Rylie will hear from Luke for months, the last day Luke will see Rylie for even longer and the last day for me to see Beau before he boards the plane late tonight. Luke is so worried about Rylie, it's not even funny anymore. He seriously gave me a list of things that she loves and hates to give to the other hospital so they don't piss her off in any way.
This is going to be tough on the guys, mostly Beau and Luke. Beau has been on my hip for the past week and I'm going to miss his presence around the house. Just when one gets back, the other one has to leave again. It sucks, it sucks ass. Being in a relationship where each of us is always traveling, I miss being able to have a night in and doing absolutely nothing instead of always having to be on the move. I've always wanted to tell Beau about it, but when I was about to, he had to leave again.
I hate having all of these thoughts running through my head, reminding me to do it whenever I see Beau or whenever I'm alone. I'm going to have to tell him today, or else they'll be haunting me the entire time he's gone.
As I'm lost in thought laying on my bed, I don't notice Beau walking into the room and sinking down into the bed. "Babe, you okay? You're sorta just sitting there looking all sad and stuff." He says with a playful grin, I sigh and sit up before facing him.
"I've been needing to talk to you about something for a really long time, but I haven't gotten the courage to tell you so please don't get mad at me." I say, turning away and closing my eyes.
I hear Beau scoot closer before taking my hand. "Please tell me you're not breaking up with me, I can't go through this all over again. I love you, I love you Saorise. More than anything in the world and I can't los-"
"I'm not breaking up with Beau, I could never do that to you." I interrupt him sharply before sighing once again.
He lets out a sigh of relief before furrowing his brows. "Then what is it?"
"I hate this, I hate whatever this is." I don't want to see the hurt look on his face, the one that I already know is there. "I hate being away from you, I don't like it when you're not around the house or by my side. It feels empty or my other half is gone, it's not right when you're not here. I don't know if I can even make it a day without you here, I'll probably forget something that you reminded me not to forget or find something around the house and run to your room to tell you before realizing that you're not there. I hate how we both travel, I hate it when as soon as I get back, you have to leave for something and won't be home until late at night. Or I hate how by the time I get back from something, you're just about to leave or you're already in bed." I tell him before continuing, not caring that I have tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Before I came back, I always had trouble sleeping. I'd have nightmares nearly every night and they just got worse at the rehab center, I'd wake up in the middle of the night screaming, crying or sweating. Then that night I spent over at your place, in your arms, that was the first night in nearly three years that I didn't have one of my nightmares. I don't have them when I'm with you, I can't sleep without you at night. I feel abandoned when I find my bed cold and empty when you're not around. When you're gone, they come back until I'm cuddling next to you." I explain before wiping my eyes, he pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly as I cry into his shoulder.
"Then come with me." He whispers, kissing my forehead.
"What?" I croak out, looking up from his shirt.
"I said, then come with me. Come on tour with us, you have no reason to stay here. Why don't you come with us then?" He smiles, I shake my head and lean back into his chest.
"Rylie is here, I can't leave her all on her own. I know she's capable of dealing with everything, but I don't want her to feel like we've forgot about her." I answer, he kisses my head.
"She could use a break from us, we must be super annoying." He laughs, I smile and shake my head again.
"I think she'd get lonely, we'd be gone for nearly six months." I tell him
"Well, it's not like we wouldn't fly out to see her. We could come out here like every other week or something, spend a few days here on a break and then we can go back out to wherever. I'm sure Luke wouldn't be opposed to that idea." He replies
"Speaking of him, he gave me a list of love and hates for Rylie, he doesn't what the hospital giving her anything she doesn't like." I laugh before going into thought. "Yeah, I'm sure Luke wouldn't want her alone in the hospital for that long anyway."
"You never know until you ask." He lifts up my chin and pecks my lips. "So, is that a yes?" He grins, I grin back and nod.
"That means I'll have to pack, and you get to help."
A/N - I'm going to do another chapter that's based off of this one but it's just Day 32. Do not worry, I gotchu.
