Rylie -
We both fell asleep last night, how is that even possible? For the past several weeks, we haven't been able to sleep and now suddenly we can? What the hell is going on in this damn hospital? Even Shawn is a little spooked about the whole thing about us sleeping and dreaming.
"Did you dream last night, or did you just sleep?" Shawn asks after a moment of silence as the doctors come into the room to check up on us.
"I dreamt, it felt good but it was really weird."
"What did you dream about?"
"Luke, it was more of a memory than a dream I guess." I shrug
"What was it?"
"It was one of our little outings we had together, we went hiking and we spent more time taking pictures of the nature than we did hiking. Did you dream last night?"
"Yeah, I think mine was a memory too. I was with a group of people who I'm guessing are my friends because Natalie was in the dream with me. We were at some beach party or something because it was hot and sunny, we might've been in Florida but I'm not sure. Anyway, she was there and we were laughing and playing volleyball. It must’ve been really fun.” He says with a sad sigh.
“The worst thing is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again.” I look down at the ground and play with my hands.
“It’s even worse when you know that they’re gone and you won’t ever be able to get them back.” Shawn nudges my shoulder, I look up at him and notice the tears in the corner of his eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Shawn.” I start crying and pull him into a tight hug.
“It’s alright, how many more days until we can go to the light?” He questions, pulling away from me
“30, yesterday would’ve been 31.” I reply, he nods and we lean back against the railing. I look down at the floor below us, it seemed so far away. “I still wonder.”
“Wonder what?”
“What would happen if we jumped instead of going towards the light, I want to figure it out.” I tell him, staring down at the ground.
“I’ve come to conclusion that you would probably die if you jumped.” He informs me with complete seriousness in his voice.
“Well what about the light? I think if we jumped, we’d wake up but if we went into the light, it would be like going into heaven.” I suggest, he shrugs and looks at the light before the ground.
“Let’s hope we’ll never find out.”
********
“What’s your favorite color?” I look at him
“Blue, what is your favorite word?”
“Favorite word? I dunno, I really like using the word asshead.” I let out a laugh before thinking up of another questions. “What is your favorite memory?”
“From the ones I can remember, meeting Natalie for the first time. What about you?”
“Probably my first date with Luke because it was at a carnival. What is your safe haven?”
“What’s a safe haven?”
“It’s basically is what it sounds, a place where you can go that makes you feel safe. Like if you were super stressed out about something or your family wouldn’t leave you alone, you’d go to your safe haven to get away from the world.”
“I don’t really have an answer for that, I don’t remember half of my life. Do you have a safe haven?”
“I did, it was my closet at my parents house when I still lived with them. I turned it into my little nook with all of my favorite things so I wouldn’t lose my temper or if I needed a little cool down.”
“What did you put in it?”
“A bean bag, my favorite stuffed animal and blanket, a few of my favorite books, I even put my record player in there so I could listen to vinyl records. I saved up my money and bought a mini fridge, I filled it all of my favorite foods and drinks. I spent more time in that place than I did in my actual room.”
“You did, do you have one now?”
I shrug, “I guess I do, but you have to pinky promise me that you won’t laugh when I tell you.”
Shawn laughs but hooks his pinky with mine. “Okay, I won’t. What is it?”
“Luke.”
A/N - Sorry this chapter is so short! I've had writers block and I haven't had wifi, so I haven't been able to tell how long each chapter is but as soon as I get back from my vacation and I have wifi on a daily basis, I will start posting more frequently. Thank you for your understanding! I love you to the moon and back!
Rosie
