Jai -
I called her. She didn't answer. Ever since Luke mentioned her, I realized how much I really missed Taylor. I know how much we fight and would break up, but we always ended up back together... that has to mean something, right?
I dial her number for the third time, she doesn't answer but this time I leave a message. "Hey.. it's me, again. I don't know if you just don't want to talk to me or what but I really miss you, I know I've been real shitty lately and I never gave you a reason on why I broke up with you so here it is. I was in love with Rylie, I didn't think it was fair to you if I had feelings for someone else while I was dating you. I'm over her now, Luke took me with him to get an engagement ring for her. I bet you'd be her maid of honor. Anyways, I hope you're doing well and I hope I'll see you soon. Bye." I clear my throat and hang up, proud of what I said.
I pace around my room for a bit, then fall onto my bed. I pull up Taylor's Instagram to see what she's been up to lately. Paradise, she's been in absolute paradise. She went to Bora Bora with her parents, that's probably why she hasn't been answering the phone calls or text messages. She looks different.. happier than I remember, maybe that's because she isn't with me anymore.
"Hi, I don't mean to annoy you even though I've sent about ten messages already. Anyways, I wanted to say that I miss you and still love you but if you're happier without me and don't want to get back together, I understand and I'm not gonna be mad if you say no. As long as you are happy, that's all that matters to me. Call me back whenever you made up your mind." I say quickly, hanging up and tossing my phone as tears start to roll down my cheeks.
"Shit, Jai! Are you crying?" Skip walks into my room, coughing up the food he was trying to eat. I laugh but nod, sitting on my bed. "What the fuck has gotten into you?"
"I called Taylor. About twenty times and didn't get anything back." I look over at him, he chews and swallows before setting down the bowl.
"I'm sorry, I know she's on vacation. Maybe she just doesn't have any signal?" He suggests, giving me a pat on the back.
"The first messages were me trying to win her back and then after I saw how happy she looked on Instagram, I realized that maybe I should let her go. I still love her but why should she have to go through all the pain I've put her through when all she deserves is to be happy with a boy that doesn't cause her trouble and loves her unconditionally. You know what they say; if you love something, you have to let it go."
"Holy shit, that was deep! You're starting to sound a lot like Rylie, she'd probably give you some advice and facts about Taylor that you should know. I'm a shit advice giver but do whatever you think is right and if she truly loves you, then she'll find a way to come back to you." He nods, announcing that's the best advice he's got before standing up and leaving my room once again.
Am I doing the right thing? It feels right to me but is it fair to her? I've never put her first, I lost her because I put my work and everything else before this girl who gave me nothing but the world. I don't know how she'll ever forgive me, I made the biggest mistake of my life and I'll regret it for as long as I will remember it.
