random a$s aot oneshots/headcannons

New Year's Eve Oneshot

this is just....random. 3rd person pov :D and a modern au (and slightly nsfw o_o)

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Ah it was finally here. The annual New Year's Eve party for the Scouting Regiment. It was the night everyone looked forward to because it was full of fun, games, alcohol, and sometimes sex. You, Armin, Eren and Hanji were in charge of preparations, while Mike, Erwin, and Levi got the food and drinks ready. 

Now, about five hours in, all the other recruits left, leaving just you, Erwin, Mike, Hanji, Levi, Eren, Armin, and surprisingly, Nile showed up too. Four of you were drunk, while the other four watched, completely weirded-out, while you guys embarrassed yourself. 

"I'M A DOG HANJIIIIII!!!" Mike yelled out to Hanji, who was in the kitchen preparing themselves another drink. "OW OW AWOOOOOO" Mike's howls echoed throughout the house as he chugged the rest of his can of beer.

"And I'm a Tiiiitaaaan." Hanji shrieked back as she stumbled into the living room. Eren and Armin were now bursting out in fits of laughter.

"Ay look what we're setting up! We're gonna do....the singy thing" Erwin called out to everyone while you turned the TV to Youtube. He was just as drunk as the rest of you. On the TV screen, was a video of a spiral spinning around, like a hypnotization video. You sat cross-legged on the floor and stared at it like a baby stares at its mother for the first time. 

"The singy thing?" Nile asked with a raised eyebrows. "You mean karaoke?"

"Uh huhhhhhh."

"Look at the spinny thing." You muttered to the rest of the drunk people, who immediately reverted their eyes to the spiral. Soon enough, they all fell into the same state that you did. Now all of you were sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring at the screen with droopy eyes and mouths hanging open. Eren, Armin, and Nile all exchanged glances before taking the remote from you and changing it to a karaoke video for "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. 

"YOU ARE....MY FIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRE." Hanji slurred out loudly. Mike soon joined in by standing on the coffee table with them and using his beer bottle as a mic. 

"TELL ME WHY!!" Hanji yelled out, looking to Mike for him to sing the next part.

"AIIINT NOTHIN BUT A HEAAAAAART AAAAAAACHE!!" Mike screamed in reply. Nile buried his face in his hands, knowing he made a terrible mistake. He forgot that both Hanji and Mike liked this song. Armin and Eren just laughed and sipped from their bottles of Sprite and Fanta.

Soon the song ended with Levi walking in dressed in his pajamas. He unplugged the TV and scowled at Mike and Hanji, who froze in their position.

"What the hell!?" Levi shouted. He must've been trying to sleep. "I can hear you both from my office!!" 

"Well EXCYOOOOOS MEEEEE... but we are better persons than YOU Mr. pants Grumpy." Hanji slurred out as she hopped off the table and leaned over to Levi's face.

"You're both drunk as hell! Other people are trying-"

"Penis." You whispered out of nowhere. Nile looked at you weirdly, while Eren and Armin just raised their eyebrows confusedly.

"What?" Levi asked you to repeat yourself.

"Penis." You said a bit louder. Mike and Hanji burst out into tears from laughing so hard and rolling around on the floor.

"PFFFFFFFFFFFF." Erwin spit out before he started howling with laughter.

"How is that funny!" Eren yelled out as he finished his bottle of Fanta. 

"Wait wait wait! Pussyyyyyyy!!!!" Mike yelled out in a schoolgirl voice. Erwin and Hanji laughed even harder, having to cough violently so they wouldn't choke. 

"No no! That's not funnier than PENIS! PENIS IS THE BESTEST!!" You started sobbing, so Eren hugged you and told you that they're both equally funny, cause that's the only thing that would soothe you in your drunk state of mind.

"Oh. No I...I sowwy. Penis is better. I wuv youuuu." Mike slurred out really sweetly before pulling you into his arms. "I sowwy, I sowwy." 

"Jesus Christ, Nile you let this happen?" Levi asked the black-haired commander, who just shrugged and shook his head. Eren and Armin pursed their lips and sat back down on the couch. This sure would be one hell of a night.

[30 minutes later...]

"OHH ILL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT" You yelled out on top of the coffee table to Erwin. Erwin responded by standing up and raising his hand to make a proclomation.

"What do you *hiccup* want my dear?" He slurred out. "Do you want this coooolossal diiiiick?" 

"Oh my fucking God." Eren held in his choked laughter by burying his face in his hands. 

"Yes I do. Like right now!! NOW!" You hollered as you jumped onto him and wrapped your legs around his waist. Slowly, he stumbled up the stairs and tried to suck your neck at the same time. Loud moaning noises were audible from the hallway. So, you jumped down and swung the door to your bedroom open. On the bed, Mike laid on top of Hanji, thrusting into them awkwardly. Even after you opened the door, he kept thrusting and grunting. In fact, Hanji hadn't even noticed that you and Erwin watching.

"Hai~" Mike called to you, now Hanji's eyes lit up and turned to you.

"Join us!" Hanji shouted. Erwin gave a drunk smirk and laid down on the bed, patting his lap for you. You chuckled and burped, then sunk down to your knees by his crotch. Swiftly, you unzipped his pants, pulled his boxers down, and took his whole length in your mouth.

"Wait! Let's have a foursome!" Hanji suggested with a wide smile. You, Mike, and Erwin all exchanged glances then nodded.

Then it happened. One of the best nights of your life.

[The next morning...]

Erwin groggily groaned and rolled over in bed, taking all of the blanket with him. You shivered and cuddled against Hanji, who was naked. In fact, you were all naked from the night before. All of the clothes were spread out on the floor, the sheets were wrinkled and halfway off the bed, and Erwin held the blanket tightly to cover his body. Mike was on the floor, he must've fell off in the middle of the night and was too drunk to stand up and get back on the bed. He used your panties and Hanji's shirt as a pillow.

"Guys!" Levi shouted from the door way, with disgust clear in his voice. "Wake up!" You sat up and glared at Levi with narrow eyes.

"Shut up, I have a headache." You muttered and snuggled back up to Hanji's breasts, your lips brushing against them. Hanji lightly moaned in her sleep and held your head closer to them.

"Well I see you Erwin and Hanji, but where's Mike? Did he make the right choice and go to his own bed?" Suddenly, the floor scratched on the other side of the bed. Mike slowly sat up with tired, half-lidded eyes and messy dirty blonde hair. All you could see was his head and his neck. He looked around the room with a yawn, smiling when he spotted Levi.

"Morning Levi." He mumbled as he rubbed his eyes and laid back down, still too tired to get up and clean up. 

"Tch." That was all you heard from Levi before he walked away, slamming the door shut behind him.

In other words, your body still ached and was sore from last night.

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well that was interesting