Birdflash oneshots 2

Being a big brother is stressful

Dick Grayson was known around Gotham as one of the most easy going guys you'll ever meet. He had a boyfriend, a steady job, and a rich family. What more could he want?

Dick can tell you. He wants to be able to come home without his brothers running around and trying to kill each other. He wants to be able to go home and get some sleep without explosions or gunfire or screaming. He wants to be able to go down to the cave and only hear the chirping of bats and the clicking of keys as Batman types on the computer.

Dick was in the library, finally enjoying the peace and quiet, when screams erupted from the other side of the Manor. Wally could practically hear Dick's blood pressure rise. "I'm gonna kill them." "Remember to hide their bodies under endangered plants." "You're supposed to be keeping me from killing them." "They're getting on my nerves, too." "You should set up pranks in their rooms." "On it."

"Get back here so I can I kill you, Todd!" "Gotta catch me first, Demon Spawn!" "Leave me out of this! I'm not going to be your shield, Jason." "You're supposed to be on my side." "I'm not on either of your sides!" "Then stop being a nuisance and get out of here, Drake!" "Make me, you little gremlin! I was here first!" "We're fighting here, whether you like it or not!"

"What the hell is going on here?" Dick snapped, storming into the gaming room. All three boys froze, looking at their pissed off older brother. "Demon Spawn started it!" Jason was quick to point out. "You stole my swords!" "You stole my bullets!" "You poured water on me two nights ago!" "You tried to dye my hair green!"

"Enough! Both of you just shut up!" The brothers fell silent again. "Tim, how the hell do you play into this?" "Jason tried to use me as a shield when he ran in here. I was already here, playing Minecraft, might I add. I am innocent." "You tried to throw me to the wolves!" "You were the one that riled them up! Now, can you two get off of me so I can start playing again?" The two rolled off of Tim, who got up and dusted himself off. "No wonder Loki was happy. He knew this would happen." Tim whispered to Dick as he walked past.

"Now, as for you two. If you're going to fight, so it in the cave, but no weapons. That means no swords, knives, guns, brass knuckles, or anything similar." "Fun sucker." Jason muttered. "Just go. Don't make me come down there again and kick both of your asses." "Yeah, right. I'd kick your ass, Goldie." "Try me." Shivers went down the younger brothers' backs. Dick had that tone of voice again. They both stood up and walked away, arguing about who was going to win.

Dick sighed, walking back to the library. Wally was laying on the couch, reading a book and crunching on an apple. "How have they not killed each other?" Dick groaned, flopping down on Wally's chest. Wally chuckled, kissing Dick's forehead. "There is no telling. Want some apple?" "No, thanks. I want brothers that don't constantly try to murder themselves." "You're a family of heroes. I doubt that'll ever happen." "Why must you be right?" "Because it keeps you sane." "True."