Birdflash oneshots 2

The worst part of being paralyzed is not being able to feel you

Dick had been in his wheelchair for a year and a half now. He and Wally were in a relationship now, which made him happy. Even if he couldn't swing through the streets anymore, he had someone who could give him that adrenaline rush he missed. Currently, Dick was at his appointment with his doctor. He went every two months, to give updates and to collect data for future reference. So far, Dick hasn't had many signs of recovery. Sure, the bullet wound was fully healed and scarred, and he didn't have pain around it anymore, but everything else had pretty much come to a standstill since then. He couldn't feel anything in his legs, and could only feel dull sensations around his hips. "So, has there been anything new?" Dr. Warrnik asked, sitting in a chair across from him. She was the doctor who'd been treating him for almost two years now. "Not really. I still can't feel anything in my legs." Dick shrugged, leaning back in his wheelchair. "At this point, that feeling may never come back. There was a possibility at first that you may feel something, but the nerves haven't reignited. When a patient gets to where you are now and still can't feel anything, it's likely that the feeling will never return. Now, last time I suggested that you and your boyfriend should try to explore what you can and can't feel when it comes to sexual activities. What did you find."

Dick felt a bad joke coming up, but buried it down. She probably wasn't looking for jokes right now. "There's not much." She scribbled something down on her sheet. "I'll give you a list of things, and you tell me if you can do them. Can you get an erection?" Dick nodded. "Yeah, but it's almost like whatever I'm feeling is dulled. It's barely there." "Well, it's better than nothing, right? I know of many patients who fall impotent after paralysis. Can you feel when your prostate is stimulated?" She offered, watching as Dick shifted again. Surprisingly, he didn't feel embarrassed about his sex life with her. She'd admitted to him that she was aroace, so it felt like she wasn't judging the way other people did. "Yeah, but it's the same as getting an erection. It's not super strong. It took him nearly two hours to make me orgasm, and he was exhausted by the end of it. I just don't think sex is the answer for me right now. I can't really enjoy it much." "Well, I'm afraid I am no help in that regard. You and I both know that sex is not my thing." "Yet, for a doctor that doesn't like sex, you certainly make plenty of sex jokes." Dick grinned. Dr. Warrnik smirked. "I'm asexual, not boring. Can you imagine how dull it would be if I didn't make these jokes?" Dick's smile grew. "Extremely."

After Dick's appointment, Bruce took him back to the Manor. Wally was currently in class, stuck in English 102 down in Central City, although he was supposed to be getting out soon. Dick decided to go down to the cave, analyzing the newest Fear Toxin from Scarecrow. It had been terrorizing the citizens of Gotham for a week now, and was completely resistant to the antidote. Dick was trying to figure out why it was resisting it, before it killed anyone. He was currently breaking down the substance, looking to see the ingredients inside. Dick was tapping his fingers against the table when arms wrapped around his shoulders. "Hey, baby. How was the appointment?" Wally asked, pressing a kiss to Dick's cheek. "Hey, Walls. No new developments. We kind of confirmed that I wouldn't be able to feel anything in my legs again." "Oh. What she say about the sex stuff?" "Not much." "Well, how do you feel about the sex stuff?" "I dunno. I just can't feel it like I could've before I was shot." "Well, I don't mind the extra effort." "But you were exhausted." "That's because I pulled an all-nighter the night before." "Either way, I think we should put a pause on the sex thing. Just until I get a little more comfortable with this." "Yeah, that's no problem. Do you want to take a break from this?" "From what?" "The hero bit. Just until we're both settled in a bit more. As much as I know we're not trying to be, sometimes we get distant because we're so focused on work. So, I say we take next week off. The only exception is an emergency."  Dick thought for a second, then nodded. Maybe he did need time off. Besides, the Batfamily had been doing their jobs for years without someone behind the computer the whole night. "Okay." "Good. Then we can start with going to bed after you get the chemical composition. It's 11 PM." Dick frowned, then looked at his watch. Sure enough, it was late. Very late. He'd missed dinner. Oh, well. He'd eat breakfast in the morning and be fine.

Once the computer finally came up with the chemical composition, Wally started pushing Dick towards the elevator. "You know, if it was any of my brothers, I would've smacked them." Dick commented as the doors closed. "I know. I heard about Jason last week." "Yeah, but the sucker shouldn't have tried to move me. It's his fault he couldn't move for two hours, not mine." "Damn. His kids aren't going to be normal." "Not one bit." They laughed to themselves, sitting in comfortable silence as the elevator moved. Wally found that sometimes, it was better to leave Dick in silence than try to probe him for his thoughts. Other times, it was better to sit him down and grill him until he gave it up, but not this time. "You know what we could do with your wheelchair?" Wally asked softly. "What?" "We could string lights through the wheels. Could give you the ones that change colors, so you can control what it would look like." "Maybe. Would have to run that by Bruce." "We could surprise him. Have you wheel into his office one day with blue wheels." "That wouldn't give him a heart attack or anything." "Hey, he's been in the hero business long enough. He'll probably be expecting it." "You remember that time we filled the Watchtower with spaghetti and rowed through with a rowboat?" "Yep. I'm pretty sure Barry still tries to figure out how we managed to row through spaghetti."

They were laying in bed now, curled up with each other as they breathed softly. The clock read midnight, yet neither of them were tired. Wally had his lips pressed to Dick's forehead, occasionally kissing him. "Did you know you're beautiful?" Wally asked softly, smiling as Dick chuckled. "Well, you keep telling me that, so I would say yes." "Good. Just wanted to make sure." "You're such a sap." "I have to be. You beat yourself up so much, you can't love yourself. I do it for both of us." "It's just kind of hard to love what I am compared to what I was. I used to kick ass." "And you still do. You just give the information to the dumb guys who will take a punch to the face." "Trust me, I'd rather take a punch to the face than sit in my wheelchair for the rest of my life." "I know. Hey, what's that face for? No frowning right now." Wally gently pulled Dick's face up, kissing his cheeks. "I just...I wish I could feel you. Like, I can't feel your legs right now. I know you wrap them around mine when we lay down, and I know that something's over my legs, but I just can't feel it. Not like I could've if we dated before the incident. The worst part of being paralyzed, to me at least, is not being able to feel you." "I don't care. We're here now, and that's all that matters. No matter what happens, I'll always love you. That's my promise to you."