Birdflash oneshots 2

Sibling fun(+a boyfriend)

Sibling night was one of the best nights of the month in Dick's opinion. He got to kick ass with his brothers and sisters, and they got to do it without Bruce's constant nagging. Last month had been fun, and Dick got an epic video of Jason rolling down a giant plank of wood in only a shopping cart. This month they were going after Penguin, who was currently hiding out in his extreme penthouse. It was like his normal penthouse, just with a shit-ton more security. Most people avoided it unless they were hired by Penguin, which meant tonight was probably going to be even better. Nobody to interrupt them while they kicked and, in Dick's case, flipped through the ranks of henchmen. "Man, it feels like ages since we all got together." Dick commented as Barbara landed on a nearby roof, their agreed meeting place for tonight's mission. Tim was currently egging Damian on about something that Dick couldn't even begin to imagine, and Jason was helping him. Steph had been talking his ear off for the last thirty minutes, and Cassie was filming the three youngest brothers. "It's only been a month." Barbara chided, pulling a piece of fuzz out of Dick's hair. "Still. Last month was so slow. I'm ready to kick some ass tonight." "Well, we're all here. Let's go!" Jason complained. "Not quite. My Doordash guy's still out getting my candy." Dick pulled his hologlove up, looking at some blinking dot. "Are you fucking serious? You Doordashed fucking candy?" Jason scoffed. "Oh, hush. He's ten seconds away." "How the fuck do you-"

Jason was cut off by a gust of wind. Wally was now standing next to Dick, a small bag of Rolos in his hand. "Some amazing candy for my amazing boyfriend." He grinned as Dick took the candy, waving to the rest of the Bat-siblings. "Is West coming with us?" Damian groaned. Dick pocketed the candy in his belt. "Not tonight, but he is our backup. If something goes fucky, call him." "I'll be in Gotham tonight, but I'll be out of your hair for the most part. Uh, Alfred gave me this to read off before you guys go running into bullets. Be careful, if someone gets shot go to Leslie, there will be cookies when you get back, he's making an entire plate for me so don't worry about having to share with me, only rubber bullets, and don't get blood on the carpet upstairs. Essentially, don't die and don't make a mess. With that, I bid you adieu." Wally kissed Dick's cheek before running off, leaving the Bat-siblings alone again. "Your boyfriend is a dork. You know that?" Tim asked. "Oh, trust me, I know. It's one of his best personality traits. Now, to Penguin's extreme penthouse! I'm ready to kick ass." Dick pulled out his grappling hook, jumping off the edge with his siblings on his heels. Everyone seemed eager to have a real fight tonight. 

As soon as they landed on the different sides of the roof, bullets started flying. Dick eagerly ran forward, kicking the closest henchman. Jason fired a few shots from his gun, each shot landing in a thigh or shoulder. He was on a strict "non-fatal" command from Alfred, with the threat of his cookies hanging over his head. Cassie easily ripped through the lines, needing only a punch or two to take the men down. The siblings slowly started closing in on the penthouse, calling things to each other as they continued to fight. "Hey, Dickhead!" Jason called as he shot a henchman in the calf. "What, asshole?" "I've got seven!" "Rookie numbers! I've got ten." "Shut the fuck up!" "You instigated!" Barbara rolled her eyes. "Settle down, boys. I've got eighteen." "What the fuck, how?" "She's Babs, Jason." "Alright. Whoever gets the most henchmen gets the last cookie." Jason decided, kicking some poor guy in the crotch. "If you capture Penguin, you get an extra twenty points." Dick added, getting closer to the locked door. That specific locked door led to Penguin's panic room, which he was undoubtedly in by now. "I say we add thirty, just for shits and giggles." Tim called as he jabbed his staff into a henchman's gut. "I argue fifty!" Steph yelled. "Fine! Fifty points for whoever gets Penguin!" Babs finalized it, which resounded in a loud whoop from the three eldest boys and Stephanie. "Race you there, Jason!" Dick set off. "Hey! No fair, that's cheating!" "You cheat all the time!" "You hack the video games!" "Only if I feel like crushing you! All the other times, you just suck." "Babs, I'm gonna kill him!" "Just wait until we're done with this to kill him, alright? I don't feel like adding a death report into the mission report tonight." She rolled her eyes, cleaning up the last few henchmen with Cassie.

They made their way over to the locked door, where a digitized keypad sat on the wall. Tim knelt down next to it. "I could probably hack this." Jason rolled his eyes. "It would be better if I just shot it." Dick snorted. "Boys, you're both missing the obvious solution here." "Alright, you do it." "Okay. But if I get him out here, I get the fifty points." "Sure, whatever." Dick pressed four numbers, grinning when the intercom came on. "What the hell do you want?" Penguin growled through the speaker. Dick smirked, leaning down to the microphone. "Hey, boss. We took care of the pesky heroes." "Really? And how'd you do that?" "Shot the big one. He was too busy taking care of the other birdies to notice us. They all scrambled to get him out of here." A laugh resonated through the speaker. "Good job. Always hated that rat in particular. I'm coming up." The speaker went dead. "How the hell?" Jason scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You gotta master the gangster voice. Always gets Penguin." The doors to the panic room opened, and Penguin walked out with a cigar in his mouth. He immediately locked on the Bat-kids in front of him, including the oldest who was supposed to be shot. "Ah, sod off." He growled, letting Dick cuff his hands behind his back. "Well, I think I win." "Yeah, yeah. How many did you get before the fifty points?" "Thirty six." "Dammit." "Don't feel bad, Jason. Cassie had fifty seven." Babs grinned as she pointed to Cassie. "I really needed to watch my parents fall to death or get trained like an assassin." "Asshole." Dick rolled his eyes. "Bitch." Cassie flipped Jason off.

After dropping Penguin off with Gordon, the Bat-siblings made their way back to the Manor. Jason was still pissed that Dick managed to win the last cookie, so he kept making snide remarks on the way home. Nobody bat an eye at this, since Jason was always making remarks. Steph was talking to Cassie about going to a nearby nail salon, and Damian was debating with Tim on whether apple juice or orange juice was better. Dick was keeping an eye on the police radio, just in case something happened and they were out. Barbara popped up with a question late into their trek home, nearly making Jason drop his helmet. "Okay, serious question. If I were to go on a trip to Japan in the next few days, who'd want to go with me?" Dick, Steph, and Cassie all raised their hands. Tim sighed. "I wish. But I've got finals this week." Dick patted his back. "Sorry, kid. I'll bring you back some of their candy." "The soda candy?" "Yep. Just text me which one you want." Damian tutted. "I can go whenever I like. Father has plenty of money." "I know. He's funding this trip." "Just bring me back a katana when you come back." "Strange request for a ten year-old kid, but sure. Whatever you want. Jason?" Jason shook his head. "I'll be over in Greece. Artemis invited me on a mission." "Blondie, or redhead?" "Redhead, Dickhead." "Hey, that rhymed."

When they finally arrived at the Manor, Wally was sitting at the dining room table with a plate of cookies. There was another plate on the edge of the table, with bat-shaped cookies. "Wow. He really went all out, huh?" Dick asked as he grabbed his first cookie, munching on it. Wally nodded. "He had me go to Metropolis and grab the cookie cutter, since they're the only city that seems to be able to properly store and distribute party supplies." Jason snorted. "I'll raise a glass to that one." "You don't have a glass, Jason." Tim rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll raise a cookie to that." The rest of the siblings rolled their eyes, continuing to eat their cookies as they talked about the mission. When the plate finally dwindled down to the last cookie, Dick grabbed it and walked over to Wally's chair. He plopped down in the speedster's lap, and Wally wrapped his arms around Dick's waist. "Well, I'm going to go get changed. I'm not sure how much I can stomach, looking at them." Jason shuddered. "You're just mad that Roy turned out to be a disappointing partner." Dick called as Jason walked off. "Partner, yes! Fuck buddy, no!" "Jason, there's a kid here." "And I don't give a fuck!" Damian rolled his eyes. "I can easily decapitate him." "Let's not. Alfred already told us not to get blood on the carpet, and I don't want to piss him off." "A wise decision, Master Dick."