𝖍𝖝𝖍 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

Hisoka cheats on Reader

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Author: LazyPerfectionist (on ao3)

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I should have known it would end this way.

You kept your hands steady on the wheel, periodically wiping away tears as you drove maybe too fast, maybe not fast enough from your home. To where you weren't exactly sure, the destination was unimportant.

You had to get away from that scene as fast as possible. You wanted the last image he saw of you to be strong, unphased, uncaring - you wouldn't give that red-headed monster a chance to see you unravel in front of him. He'd like that, it would be a dramatic flourish to his awful, hurtful performance. In fact, he would have loved for you to react angrily, to kick and scream and throw things, or even a Nen-enhanced punch. It was that monstrous strength of yours that had drawn him to you anyway.

Your throat was still dry and aching as you continued to cry tears of anger and betrayal, and it was starting to get harder and harder to keep focus on the road. Maybe you shouldn't be driving. Maybe it was time to pull by the side of the road and let yourself feel all that you felt.

But you were stubborn, and you continued to head on. In addition to the blur of your tear-filled eyes, the initially light snow shower had started to pick up, and you turned on your windshield wipers to add some visibility. In your mind's eye, all you could see was the man you loved, literally balls deep in a strange woman, in your own home, in your own bed. You could see the marks and scratches on his skin, his hands firmly squeezing her ass as he plowed into her, and her legs wrapped around his waist. You could hear her excessively loud and frequent moans, and the way she said his name almost incorrectly, as if she had been paid to soundtrack his disloyalty.

How the fuck do you even pronounce a name like Hisoka incorrectly?

The worst part is the longer you stood there, the more you realized it wasn't a strange woman. It was your best friend, the one who had warned you that Hisoka was strange and maybe not the best for you,and maybe you should just find someone else to love because you were so popular anyway. His name in her mouth had twisted because she was having oh-so-much-fun, you wanted to snap her neck the next time you saw her.

Your fingers tightened around the wheel that was starting to freeze to the touch as the ambient temperature dropped. It occurred to you to turn on the heat but you opted not to. You couldn't bother. Your anger would keep you warm.

Relax, if you didn't control your strength, you could break the wheel and go in a tailspin. Even if you were already hurt, you could hurt others, your actions still mattered in the grand scheme of things.

Nothing you did mattered to Hisoka.

It didn't matter how much you'd compromised yourself for him. It didn't matter that you had rearranged your entire life to suit his follies, declining job offers that would take you out of the city, the approaches of other men and women who wanted to love you, centering all your hobbies around fighting just so you could have more opportunities to spar with him.

You didn't even like fighting. But anything for him, right? Anything for that trickster's smile, the way his voice became low and seductive when he wanted you, the way his amber eyes fell onto you with contentment whenever you woke him up with breakfast in the morning, the way he made you feel when he was inside you...

Lying, disgusting, piece of shit, good-for-nothing, useless clown. He was a damn jester, a royal fucking fool.

Nope, you were the fool.

You should have never let him convince you that he cared. Someone who gets off on fighting and kills for fun couldn't possibly care about someone's feelings. What a joke.

"Would you like to join us?" He'd said, a devilish grin on his face, once he'd finally acknowledged you standing planted in the same spot for five whole minutes, holding your pain in.

It took all of you to not kill him right there.

You started to laugh loudly and bitterly. You would eventually have to go back to either throw him out or move out your own things. You'd eventually have to meet the man you loved but didn't respect or love you back face to face.

But for now you'd continue to drive on this snowy night, going as far as the tank would take you, hoping that your will to live or love again wouldn't reach E before the fuel gauge did.