Top ???
Bottom ???
Author: sasukelover69 (on ao3)
bitch this has me cackling and mumbling 😭💀
_________________________
It started out with small, hardly noticeable things. Chrollo would reuse a candy wrapper as a condom, or maybe go without showering for weeks on end just to save a couple of measly dollars. You first thought that his quirky acts were harmless, but one day his excessive bargains and coupons would go beyond reason.
The day on which this incident occurred happened to be your fifth year anniversary with your boyfriend, Chrollo. You and him had plans for the evening, plans to have a nice dinner at a quaint little restaurant you had wanted to go to for the past few months.
You rummaged through your closet until you found your most prized possession, a black dress that you loved so dearly. You had fond memories of wearing it to Uvogin's funeral and to a brony convention.
After changing into your skimpy dress and applying some makeup, you grabbed your Chanel purse, put on some heels, and drove off to meet Chrollo at the restaurant. You recognized Chrollo's 1932 Stout Scarab in the parking lot. You had been trying to convince him to get a new car since you first met him, but he would always tell you that it was too expensive, even whenever you offered to buy one for him.
You hopped out of your car and walked inside the restaurant with a merry skip in your step. Chrollo was waiting for you inside, playing Tetris on his iPhone 1, sitting at a table for two in the corner of the dining area. You approached him slowly, clutching your bag tightly to your chest, trying not to let the nerves get the best of you on your special day.
"What took you so long, bitch?" Chrollo asked in an impatient tone, flashing his grimy teeth as he spoke.
"Oh... Sorry for coming late, I took extra time to make myself look presentable for our anniversary. I was expecting you to propose tonight..." You trailed off awkwardly, looking anywhere but the man in front of you.
"It's our anniversary?! I completely forgot since I didn't bother buying a calendar." The raven haired man said in a much calmer voice than before.
"Well anyways, I suppose we should order now." You cleared your throat to try and alleviate the tension between you and him and hid your face behind the menu.
"I wasn't originally planning on proposing now, but I've been carrying your engagement ring around just in case." Chrollo said, breaking the five minute long silence.
You set down your menu, watching as he pulled out a small, cheap looking box from his crusty jacket pocket, causing a cluster of bugs to fall from his coat. You grimaced.
"Y/n L/n, will you marry me?" Chrollo proposed, opening the box to reveal a plastic spider ring that appeared as if it came from Dollar Tree.
You were stunned, but not in the good way. Your eyes flicked back and forth before the ugly ring and Chrollo's sweaty and unwashed face, praying that this was some sort of lame prank. But no, Chrollo continued to look you dead in the eyes with his blank, bug-like stare, ever unblinking.
"Ye-Yeah. I guess so." You stuttered and reluctantly held out your left hand, presenting your ring finger to him. He slid the ring on easily, as smooth as a knife cutting through butter.
"Wow, would you look at that! It's a perfect fit!" Chrollo smiled and leaned across the rickety table to hug you tightly, his disgusting scent overpowering your senses.
His grin greatly contrasted with your frown, and even though he wasn't the best a reading people, he picked up your displeased emotions.
"What's the matter?" He questioned obliviously.
"'What's the matter?' YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING MATTER IS, CHROLLO?! MY ENGAGEMENT RING LOOKS LIKE IT CAME FROM A FUCKING COIN SLOT MACHINE! DO YOU NOT LOVE ME? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TAKE OUR FUCKING RELATIONSHIP SERIOUSLY?! IS IT REALLY THAT HARD FOR YOU TO DITCH YOUR UGLY ASS CAR AND STOP PUTTING CHICKEN GREASE IN YOUR HAIR? FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST CHROLLO, STOP THIS MADNESS! DON'T LET CAPITALISM MAKE YOU LIVE IN FEAR OF GOING BROKE, IT'S DESTROYING YOUR LIFE!" You yelled, everyone around you turning their heads and gossiping about your sudden outburst.
"Fine, take me to the car dealership tomorrow and we can pick out a new car together, in celebration of our engagement. How does that sound?" He offered, wringing some extra droplets of gel and oil out of his soggy hair.
"That sounds... Great."
YOU ARE READING
𝖍𝖝𝖍 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘
RomanceSome hxh oneshots because we all know. Everyone in this show is way too hot. This will also have ships so if you don't like that just skip those chapters. I give credit to all authors. I have only written a oneshot when i have said so. Enjoy this be...
