𝖍𝖝𝖍 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

Withering - Chrollo/Reader

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Author: lov1996(on ao3)

angst :( 

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Right after concluding their brief meeting about their next heist, Chrollo opened his book once again with only a candle and the moon illuminating the words that engraved the multiple pages of the text. The other Spiders that were left waiting for the time of the heist sat in their respective corners.

Hisoka was the first one to notice the slight change of behavior whenever Chrollo was in deep thought, looking and reading his book. At first, Hisoka thought that he was just too engrossed with the well written literature until he noticed how Chrollo's eyes weren't moving to read the text. Chrollo was just blankly staring at the single page for quite some time and the only movement Hisoka could catch was him blinking.

After Hisoka, Feitan was the next one that noticed how Chrollo's usual calm expression falters slightly into a small frown whenever he opens that book of his. And like a usual chain, the other members realized it soon enough too.

Chrollo didn't mind the sneaky stares that the Spiders thought they were giving discreetly. He just wanted to check on something, or rather someone special and being the leader of the troupe meant that he didn't have the time to check on her personally.

Y/n and Chrollo's relationship was not something that you'd call easy. Not all relationships were easy but what made it even more complicated is the uncertainties and lack of assurance that the other partner was receiving.

Y/n wasn't even sure how he felt about her. Sure, they are times when it felt like Chrollo was ready to give her anything that she'd ask for. May it be his heart or his life, but the problem was she never heard that from him. She only felt it during the nights they spent together in each other's arms, tucked away from the cruelty of the godforsaken world.

Chrollo did care for her in ways he himself couldn't imagine. For once in his life, he had someone to fear for and to live for. With a work like this, life is something you'd be lucky to have whenever a mission had ended and Chrollo knew that whenever he wasn't by her side, anxiety is slowly eating her up. He knew this because he could see her.

Incased in his book, the ability to see other people you've touched was stolen from a hunter in one of their missions. It took him some time to steal the ability, but he knew that it would give him some peace of mind if he knew how Y/N was doing.

Looking at Y/N using the stolen ability, he tried to remember how everything started to become complicated for the two of them. Chrollo recalled how he met her. He remembered how he was ready to kill her when he saw her grab the last copy of the book he wanted on the bookshelf. He remembered following her silently on her way back home, ready to snatch her life away along with his book however, what she did managed to snatch his breath instead.

"You can just borrow it when I'm done, you know?" She spoke, stopping her tracks.

Chrollo was sure that he hid his presence well enough, and he wasn't sure how she knew. He cleared his throat, finally letting himself be seen by her. Y/N turned to look at him and grabbed the book from her bag.

"Or you could read it first. Just contact me when you're done with it" She continued, giving him the book.

The truth is, she already saw the handsome stranger looking at the book that she wanted. Y/N figured that she could get his number if she took the last copy. When she felt him following her, she smirked knowing that her plan will work...

However,

Chrollo thought otherwise, only wanting the book and not planning to give it back but he thought how agreeing with her would be easier than killing the woman at broad daylight. He calmly smiled, asking for her number so he could "return it".

It only took him a day to finish the novel and boy did it blew his mind. He thought of the literature as pure art meant to be read. Chrollo was mesmerized and couldn't find himself not sharing the art that blessed his mind. For the sake of the talented author, he wanted it to be seen and he wanted someone to acknowledge it as well which is why he caught himself contacting Y/N to give her the art that she let him borrow.

Since then, they started talking more about the books they both found interesting. Expressing different opinions and widening their mindset as one of them explain how they interpret the fine literatures. The nights talking about books blossomed into something more as they started getting closer, more physical and a tad bit too passionate for someone like him.

Ah, I see . Chrollo thought, now knowing when it became all complicated.

They both became attached, and he started getting spooked by their closeness. Since then, Chrollo started planning more missions that meant more time away from her so he could think for himself. It only made him miss her more and now here he was, looking at her.

She sat in her kitchen, staring at the flowers that Chrollo gave her from his last visit. Judging by how dead the flowers looked, it's safe to say that he was gone for almost more than a month. Y/N didn't even count anymore because it will only make her more worried and heartsick.

Not a single message, not single call. Hell, she even wished that Chrollo would just pigeon her a small note telling her that he was alive and okay. Y/N felt like she was slowly deteriorating from the inside with every tick of the annoying red clock on her wall. Every day without him is constant battle between letting him go or waiting for him and the wilted flowers didn't help with her confusion.

She had no idea what she could have done that made him so distant. What made her even more confused was how sweet and caring Chrollo is whenever he comes back to her. Y/N just wanted him to come back to her, but she can't race a concern about his negligence because he isn't hers.

Oh .

It hit her abruptly.

Chrollo was never hers.

A lump on her throat started to form and it made it difficult to breathe. She felt the tears forming in her eyes, but Y/N fought it. She let out a shaky breath with trembling lips. This point of realization crushed the little hope she had inside of her.

On the other side, Chrollo sat there, swallowing thickly. It felt like he was being suffocated while he watches y/n's heart break even more. If it was crushed, it's certainly pulverized now. He knew what it meant. Chrollo knows what's coming but instead of leaving the headquarters to stop her, he stayed glued to his uncomfortable seat.

He watched as she covered her eyes with her left hand, trying her best not to cry but failing to stop her sobs. Chrollo saw this moment coming and prepared to try and calm his expressions once y/n's feelings get the most of her but seeing her so vulnerable hurt more than any wound he ever had.

Y/n removed her hand and stared at the dead plant in front of her. Her tears had spilled and coated her cheeks along with an aggressive blush from trying so hard not to cry. She couldn't help but feel helpless, seeing the dead flowers that was as dead as their nonexistent relationship. His ability to feel for her had made a fool out of y/n. She wanted to wonder if all those smiles and sweet nothings that Chrollo had given her was genuine, but Y/n had to stop herself. Reminiscing wouldn't bring him back and it was now very clear to her.

She should have known from the night he left that he was not coming back anymore. It took her a lot of time to get a clear view of his intentions and now Y/n is left to face this burden alone.

Chrollo watched as she stood up from her seat and grabbed the vase. Chrollo watched as she contemplated, staring at the plant. Chrollo watched as she sighed deeply, moving towards her trash can. Chrollo watched as she threw away the last reminder of him ever existing in her life.

He sighed with her, not bothering to stop the tears even if the troupe had to see it. He finally decided to close the book that would end the most well written novel he ever loved and cherished. A book he could only read once.