𝖍𝖝𝖍 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

Dinner for three

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Summary: Hisoka muses about him and Illumi having kids to annoy Illumi.

Author: Countess_Mircalla (on ao3)

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"Illumi, let's have a child." Hisoka whispered into his husband's ear sensually.

Illumi turned his head slightly and eyed him in annoyance.

"Hisoka, are you aware you are no longer asleep?" Hisoka had woken up from a nap to find Illumi cooking in the kitchen of their Yorkshin apartment. It was a quiet rainy day; the young couple had no particular plans for the day so Hisoka had treated himself to what he would call a "well deserved nap".

Hisoka laughed at his husband's comment and wrapped his hands around Illumi's waist as he rested his chin on the man's right shoulder.

"Did you dream about us having children?" Illumi asked out of mild curiosity.

"Not at all, it was just the first thing that came to mind when I saw you."

That was not true. The first thing Hisoka thought about was bending Illumi over the stove and fucking him but ultimately decided against it when he noticed the hot pan over the stove which would undoubtedly be used against him if Hisoka accosted Illumi like that.

"Hisoka, neither of us has the means of carrying a child" Illumi deadpanned.

He was quiet for a moment. Hisoka observed him. He knew it was a topic Illumi would disregard because in his mind it wasn't even worth thinking about but he also knew as an assassin it was drilled into him from a young age to think about every possible outcome which meant Illumi might give it some real thought for a bit.

"Besides," Illumi opened his mouth to speak again and Hisoka grinned, knowing he'd caught him. "If I were to have a child, I cannot imagine Father being remotely happy."

Hisoka looked at him quizzically, waiting for an explanation.

"Killua is heir," Illumi stated with pride. "But if I was to have a child, as eldest son of my family, my child would also be eligible to be heir. I imagine Father would make me swear the child will never want the Zoldyck heir title as soon as the child is born."

Hisoka looked at him mildly confused and Illumi knew why.

"I swore off wanting to be heir as soon as Killu was born but my hypothetical child has made no such vows. There would be a conflict of interest." Illumi explained.

Hisoka nuzzled into Illumi's neck as he laughed.

"So, you're telling me your father should have neutered you?" Hisoka's laughter died down after he saw Illumi's had grip the pan handle a little too tightly but it didn't ruin his amused attitude.

"I am not an animal to be neutered, Hisoka."

"Oh, really now? Don't you want to give little Killua a little nephew or niece?" Hisoka was grinning again.

Illumi turned slightly to meet Hisoka's eyes. It was impolite to speak to a person but not look at them.

"Killu likes children, why would I provide something that would be a clear distraction to him?" Illumi questioned his husband as if what he had stated was an obvious conclusion.

Illumi sighed quietly. "I think it's something he gets from Grandfather. Grandfather has always been beside himself with joy when a Zoldyck child has been born." The raven-haired man explained. Hisoka made a noise of acknowledgement at his statement.