𝖍𝖝𝖍 𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖘

Denied Service, Mornings with the Phantom Troupe

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Summary: Every morning, Chrollo takes two hours to draw that cross on his forehead and the Troupe is getting pissed.After the Phantom Troupe burns Chrollo's makeup and has an intervention, Chrollo is joined by Hisoka and Illumi and the three go to Sephora to stock up. Sequel to Mornings With the Phantom Troupe.

Author: wordxkarma (on ao3)

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It's been two hours, and the bathroom door remained closed, Chrollo doing his usual morning routine. He was almost finished; he showered, brushed his teeth, put an abnormal amount of hair gel on his head to keep his hair slicked back, but now he was on the most crucial part.

Drawing the cross on his forehead.

Everybody outside of the Phantom Troupe thought that it was a tattoo, but the rest of the Phantom Troupe knew better. Every morning, Chrollo would painstakingly draw the intricate cross on his forehead with expensive felt tip eyeliner (it was stolen, of course). With some added setting spray, it would never come off unless he scrubbed hard. However, while he drew the cross on his forehead (which seemed to take forever), the rest of the Troupe would bicker.

Shalnark and Pakunoda stood outside the bathroom door to protect Chrollo from the horde of angry Troupe members (mainly, Uvogin, Nobunaga, and Phinx) wanting to use the bathroom. The rest didn't care, and Hisoka even sympathized with Chrollo a bit. After all, he had to draw on his own fucked up clown make up.

"Danchou, it's been forever! Let somebody else use the god damn bathroom!" Phinx yelled, quickly making his way past Pakunoda and banging on the door.

Of course, Chrollo ignored him, carefully drawing out each detail of his cross as he hummed along to one of the day's latest pop hits. Phinx continued to bang on the door, impatient.

"DANCHOU, OPEN THE DOORS TO THE PUBLIC!" he yelled, and then he gave the door one more kick. At this, Chrollo's hand twitched slightly, dragging the eyeliner pen upwards and ruining his otherwise-flawless masterpiece. Looking into the mirror and seeing an abyss staring back, Chrollo let out the same sigh teenagers everywhere give when they are asked to take out the garbage.

"You made me mess up. Now I have to start over."

Groans of anguish could be heard throughout the hideout as Chrollo took a makeup remover wipe and started to scrub the cross off. Ignoring Shalnark's attempts to calm him down, Uvogin started towards Phinx, before punching him once and sending the little bastard flying. Words could not describe how furious he was, and he planned to beat Phinx into a bloody pulp (eventually, though, with kisses and half-assed attempts at reasoning, Shalnark was able to calm Uvogin down).

Machi just groaned, wondering why she didn't join another group. After all, it was like this every morning, and plus she had to deal with Hisoka's overall creepiness anyways.

Maybe it would just be better to get two bathrooms for the hideout.

-

"Danchou, we gotta have an intervention," Shalnark said happily, leading Chrollo into the main part of the base where everybody was seated. Chrollo blinked.

In one hand, Feitan was holding Chrollo's expensive makeup bag. In the other hand was a lighter.

"What's going on?" Chrollo asked, and Feitain, clicked open the lighter, sending the makeup bag into flames. Chrollo just stood there in shock, going through all 7 stages of grief at once as he saw all of his money flushed down the drain.

"Every morning," Phinx started, "you spend hours in the bathroom, drawing that cross on your forehead. Why don't you just get a fuckin' tattoo?" he asked, and Chrollo exhaled, trying to keep his cool. He was the leader. He had to be strong.

"Fuck you, Phinx. You're not my mom," he instead said, before storming out of the Troupe's base. How dare they?! He spent so much money on his Kat Von D eyeliner and his Color Wonderland Sephora palettes. Makeup was the only time he would spend his money!

Making his way downtown and walking fast, faces were passing, and he was Sephora bound. On the way, Hisoka appeared next to him.

"Chrobro," he said. "I know you're upset about your makeup so I'm going shopping with you. I need to buy more makeup too."

Chrollo huffed but didn't say anything against it, before realizing that Illumi was silently stalking Hisoka. "Is that bug-eyed freak going with us too?"

"Yes," was all Hisoka said.

And so the three made their way to Sephora.

---

When they got to Sephora, Chrollo noticed the arm wrestling booth up from, and in the center sat Gon. Around him were a bunch of ladies, swooning over the 12-year-old's ripped arms. Leorio stood to the side, trying to promote Gon, but Chrollo didn't care. He needed his makeup.

Ignoring the only cashier, Chrollo started to stuff his pockets with makeup, too lazy to get a shopping cart, and some other ladies saw him, thinking he was stealing. One of them went to the single cashier, pointing at the shady looking asshole.

"Sir, I think that greasy looking guy with the edgy trench coat is stealing," she said, and the cashier sighed, rubbing his temples. Then he realized who it was and his eyes turned red and he flew into the air, jumping over to Chrollo.

"First you steal my clan's eyes, and then you steal my store's makeup?!" Kurapika shouted, and Chrollo held his hands up in surrender.

"I was going to pay, I just didn't want to get a cart," he said calmly, and Kurapika watched him suspiciously.

"Then come up to the cash register with me and empty your pockets."

They both went to the cash register and Chrollo dumped out all of his makeup on the counter and Kurapika started to ring it up, the total stopping at $733.

Chrollo slapped down some money on the counter, and Kurapika stared at it for a moment.

"That's 5 Jenny," he said, and Chrollo nodded, putting down more Jenny.

"Now that's 10 Jenny. You still need 723 Jenny," Kurapika pointed out. Eventually, Chrollo put down a wad of cash that was much more than $733 and Kurapika pushed it all back at a now-frustrated Chrollo.

"I have enough money!" he exclaimed, stomping his foot down like a little child.

Kurapika shook his head. "We don't take money from thieves or assholes. You're both."

Chrollo started to argue but Kurapika continued, his eyes starting to turn red again. "Plus, your friends are destroying my store. Go shop at Ulta."

Chrollo turned back to see Killua on a skateboard, knocking shit over, with Illumi chasing after him, throwing open tubes of lipstick to try and knock Killua off. In the corner, Hisoka was naked, covering himself with the Urban Decay eyeshadow palettes, and Leorio was covering Gon's eyes, screaming.

"Killua's your friend!" Chrollo protested, but Kurapika pointed at the exit of the store.

"Get. Out."

Eventually, Chrollo, Hisoka, and Illumi were chased out of the store, not even being given time for Hisoka to get dressed.

"Rejected again," Chrollo said sadly, looking back at Kurapika.

Hisoka grinned creepily. "Let's go do the same thing at Ulta now," he suggested, and Illumi and Chrollo exchanged looks before looking back at the clown-fucker.

"Fuck you. And no."

And so, Chrollo was forced to get the cross tattoo'd on his forehead after being rejected at Sephora, because he refused to shop at Ulta, and the Troupe lived happily ever after, never having to worry about Chrollo taking up the bathroom for hours in the morning.