Author Games - When In Rome

Task 6 - Female Entries

Phaedra Wolfgang:

The first thing I was aware of was a cold cement floor pressing into my cheek, which was odd because I remember passing out in the warm cradles of the earth. I furrowed my brow as I slowly opened my eyes. It was blurry for a second, all the colors of the gray room blurring together like a watercolor, mixing with the peach colors of another human’s skin.

I wasn’t alone.

I sat up quickly, bracing myself for combat as my brain finally processed the person standing across from me. I stopped dead feeling my hands drop to my sides as I gazed unbelievingly at the tall yet pudgy 9-year old who stood across from me wringing her career academy shirt in her hands uncomfortably as her hazel eyes stared up at me in wonderment.

It was my younger self…. I raised an eyebrow. This was a twist I never could have predicted. Probably a clone, or I might not even be awake either way there was some objective to having her here. I placed a hand on my hip trying to decide what I was supposed to do with Little Phae.

“Who are you?” Little Phae asked suddenly with a noticeable hesitation to her voice. Was I really this… vulnerable sounding when I was little? Seriously staring at myself I realized that I looked like a wounded animal.

I hesitated, how does one exactly talk to one’s self? “Don’t be stupid. I’m your older self.” I snapped finally, deciding to treat her like I would anyone else. After all I didn’t deserve special treatment.

She looked down, “You’re lying. I’m not that pretty.” Little Phae started wringing her shirt even more, if it was a human neck it would be dead. I resisted the urge to be prideful and focused on her irritating comment.

“Phaedra, don’t be such a sensitive dork. The world has no room for the weak.” I snapped, unsure of where the comment had come from. It sounded very familiar.

Little Phae still wouldn’t look at me. “Thats what mommy says.”

Oh. So thats where it came from. I shuddered as I realized I had quoted the Nazi. I hated my mother, its a shame it wasn’t her here instead of Little Phae, then I could dismantle my mother limb by limb. The thought of her mangled bloodied body diced into little pieces warmed my heart.

But no. I was stuck talking to the prepubescent version of myself. I bent forward and placed my hand on her shoulder. “Kill your mother.” I said with as much care as I could force into my voice.

Little Phae shook her head, “No. I don’t want to hurt anybody.” She said plopping to the floor and leaning her head back against the wall, a tear trickling her way out of her eye and running down her cheek.

I let out a strangled laugh, really hoping this wasn’t being broadcasted to the entirety of Panem. This was definitely that awkward, incredibly embarrassing stage of my development that everyone talks about having and likes to sweep under the rug. I knelt down beside her, “What are you talking about? Of course you want to hurt people!” I bit my tongue to keep from adding ‘and dominate the world enslaving humanity’. If this was being broadcasted I couldn’t risk the entirety of Panem knowing my plan.