Two mothers
One brother
Two sisters
12 blisters
Nails in my feet
Yet on monkey bars we swing
And stare at sunsets
I had one mother
Technically
She fed me
Clothed me
Did everything a mother should do
... but didn't hold me
That is alright
She brought me up right
And her mother never held her
So that makes up for it
... right?
At night I would stare at glow-in-the-dark stars
And dream I was far away
But knew I was desperately alone
In my own home
But not at theirs
I remember those summers
When we would play
I never had a brother
Not technically
He was my cousin
A friend
A neighbor
He was a comport
He tried to make me laugh when I was down
He would clown around
And it usually worked
... but we've grown apart now
Yes I only had one mother
But there was another
Who could have held me
If I had the strength to ask
An aunt
Kind and caring
Maybe misguided at times
But always looked at me right
Always tried to hold my hand
Across the street
Always let me cheat
Just a little
Just enough
To know that it's ok
And that life can be rough
But I don't need to step on nails
Homework is hard enough
She was a nurse
And bandaged me up
I'm not mad
I get it
My mom was 20 when she had me
Babies, are hard
And my aunt delivered them all day long
She was older
Had a kid of her own
Before I was born
I always felt town between two worlds
I guess in the end, everyone had a part in raising me
But my aunt never shamed me
Like my mother's sisters did
They hid behind a persona
Of false memories
And twisted allegories
That I'm too young to remember
But the second we hit a bad spot
The second they feel the cold of December
They run to California
And say they had no part in what made me
You can't praise me for the good I do
And say it was your doing
When in the end
It was my life you were screwing
Like the milkman in a bad joke
I hope you choke
On the lies you tell
I hope they swell until...
No
This poem isn't about them
It's about having two mothers
And one brother
And three sisters
Six grandparents
No step parents
And plenty of failures
And despite all this people
I still felt so lonely growing up
That I was never enough
For some made up expectation
And that I needed an explanation
To have any feeling at all
Feelings can't be small
They must be RAGING RIVERS
THAT CRY OUT IN THE NIGHT
THEY MUST BE FALLING TOWERS
AND LIGHTNING TOO BRIGHT
So how could I say
A kid accidentally pushed me
So I had a bad day today
It was ok with Mary
It was just.. a bad day
And at her house I could play
I could be something different
I could be someone I wasn't
And sadly,
That was who I am
