What is wrong with me?
I don't know
My thoughts flee
From me
Of all the things it could be
They are too painful to bear
I am trying to feel the air
But it's too humid
And cold
And I am not ok
But I do not know why
Putting on a face
Could put me in my place
For now
Or until it somehow
Sorts itself out
Fake it till you make it
Works sometimes
You never know
But as far as emotions go
Mine are gone
It's hard to hold onto them
When all that is left is hurt
When I would rather be buried in the dirt
Alive
I don't want to die
But I would like to rest
What a hell this has been
And I'm not ready to be better
I'm not ready for this weather
I'm not ready to be so poor
No no put me under the floorboards
Maybe then I will feel my heart beat
Maybe then I will see
The moonlight reflect off me
And I'll feel real
And I'll be me
Somehow
Free from judgment
Free from care
Free from having to change my underwear
Every god damn day
Free from this feeling
Floating away
Into nothing
I guess that is what I am doing
But it's better than dying
I guess
The stress of next week
Is haunting me
I tried to rest today
And all I got was this pang in my chest
When I try to breathe.
Get me
away from me
Please
And let me sleep
Maybe I'm just tired
Maybe my brain rewired
Maybe I need meds
Maybe instead I should sleep
Not I should do something
Literally anything
Prove my worth
Like I used to
It worked
How to I live otherwise?
Out on the line
Hoping what i do is fine
Enough
Not giving up
For once
Holding on
To let go
Growing to know
All the things I don't
I don't know
Maybe I'm just depressed
