Today, I lost my job
I cried on the way home
I talked to my boyfriend on the phone
So I wouldn't crash
But so many things came flooding back
Not bubbly enough?
Every "bubbly" person I know
Hid a knife behind their smile
The most vile
Nasty souls
I ever met
Greeted me
With a smile
And a bouncy attitude
How could I be upset?
Wouldn't that be rude?
They smiled
And their voice was high
And I am much too shy
To call out the devil in their eye
And maybe that's just me
I know my personality isn't bubbly
I never wanted to be
I can't fake who I am
Apparently even if I want to
Even if I have to
And I'm not mad I got fired
Let go
Who knows
I'm almost sad
I liked that job
And they pay was really not too bad
But I was under qualified
And maybe too inexperienced
But I tried my hardest
Didn't let it make a difference
Look
I got fired
That's not what shorts my wires
Starts my fires
No
Of all the things
Someone can say when they fire you
I did not expect
"You are a kind, beautiful soul who cares so much"
I did expect
"When one door closes... others open"
Or some shit like
"Never give up!"
I did not expect a hug
I can tell you that
My boss was blunt.
I heard her call back
And tell people they didn't get the job
There was no emotion there
She took emotion out of it
But she hugged me
And told me
With an absolute certainty
That I would be ok
And I believed her
I wasn't even mad
I'm still not mad
I'm sad for what I had
And that I now need trudge on
I'm sad for what is gone
I'm want to be hopeful
But I'm not quite there yet
Trying not to have regret
Or blame myself
Or honestly
Anyone else
This happens
And it sucks
And it doesn't mean I'm not enough
Or that I did anything wrong
Yeah, something good is gone
But maybe I can make something new
Do all those things I didn't have time to do
I'll
Be ok
But why did she have to hug me?
