I bought some strawberries
For serotonin reasons
... I had a hard day
They were 5 dollars
(6 after tax)
And I brought them home
To share
I had only eaten fast food the past week
As that was all we had
No time or money for grocery's
But I went to Walmart
To get some pasta
So I would not feel sick anymore
From the fastest of food
And the greasiest of meats
Among the all of the "fresh" produce,
They caught my eye
Strawberries
And I wondered
What if I
Just
Bought them
No.
Rent is due tomorrow.
...And I get paid next week
You won't have much until then.
...But it will be enough
And I grabbed them
Took them to my home
They looked amazing
They smelled... real
I could almost feel the lights getting brighter
And with my loved ones,
I took a bite
The lights indeed grew brighter
The colors changed
And my hard day
Didn't feel so hard
The grey in the sky
Didn't feel so bleak
And I ...
Didn't feel so weak
I gave my cat the leaves and watched her play
Sent it to a friend to melt their bleh away
Then I made my pasta
And as it cooked
I took a sneaky look at those strawberries in the fridge
And I got them out
Placed them on the counter
And snapped the snaps
And looked at them
Red as roses
Plump as plums
Shiny
No bruises
Well ok there were some
But they looked amazing
And
Real
And I picked the smallest one and put it back
Not satisfying
I picked a medium one
There was a small bruise
No that won't do
I picked the biggest reddest one
No bruises
Perfect leaves
How could this be, for me?
I don't deserve this almost perfect
Strawberry
Something
I have been telling myself
a lot lately
But then I picked it up
And I asked myself
"What harm will it do,
For me to eat one strawberry,
That I bought myself,
While cooking my pasta"
And I ate the strawberry
I ate it like it was the first real thing I tasted in a week
I ate it like it was all that mattered to me
I savored
And made noises
Like mmm
That I dont often do
As it sounds like a moan
But it was worth it for this god damn strawberry
This one amazing thing in my life
That let me breathe
Let me see
Let me feel
Fucking human again
And then
It was done
And I felt like a war had been won
I danced around my kitchen
While my cat thought I was crazy
And I made pasta
And I ate that pasta too
And I felt better
And when you haven't felt better
In a very long time
When better was a swear word in a foreign language
When better was something that happened
like the weather
Uncontrollable
Inconsolable
Just there when it is
Gone when it isn't
When better was a word you repeat over
And over
And over
And it never changes
When better was a fucking stranger
One little thing
Actual made me feel
Better
And that is what matters
Getting better
Feeling like person again
I have been so burned out
And it was good to know
That the world still turns
That I can still feel like me
All because of one
Damn good
Strawberry
