Find Me / Save Me (Bucky x Reader)

Nineteen

Bucky's POV

"Then finish it... James..." Her words hit a cord in me. I don't understand why. Then she pulls herself into my knife, her lips meeting my own. All of a sudden, my head feels like it's going to explode. Visions of an earlier life flood in. My life? The sensation of the kiss so familiar, it feels like... home. When she pulls away, I realize I am who they say I am. I'm Bucky. And she's my doll. Realization hits and I feel myself crash with a wave of emotions. "(Y/N)?..." I can barely speak. What have I done? I look at my hand, holding a knife in her. I quickly pull it out, ashamed of what I've done. Her legs go from under her at the action, and I hold her close as she falls. I did this. I hurt my doll. What did I do? I looked at her to see tears welling up in her eyes as she said, "I found you."

Steve grabs her from my arms. Steve. I had hurt him too. What have I done? I notice her walking up to me, bruised and bloody. I feel ashamed. Angry at myself for what I've done. She reaches me, Steve at her side. "You guys will be okay. I promise." At the words she starts to glow. I feel so lost, so confused. Grabbing me by my collar, she leads me to an opening in the glass. I deserve to die, after what I did to her. I'll welcome death. But I realize she's also leading Steve to the opening. Wait what? Steve? Confusion racks my brain. As she pushes us out, I hear her say, "till the end of the line."

As were falling I look back to see the helicarrier go up in flames, my eyes widen. (Y/N)... she was saving us. I hear Steve yell her name as the aircraft blows up. I wait for the ground to come, to take me and Steve with her. But it never comes. I see us falling into a jet of some kind, my back hitting a console table once we're inside.

Slowly I shake my head and look around, I see Steve getting to his feet as well.

All of a sudden, I hear a voice yell out. "Where's Tinkerbell?"

-.-.-.-

Watching them fall I knew I did the right thing. Tony would find them, take them to safety. Right now, that's all that mattered to me. Falling to my knees I finally let the pain of my injuries register. Wrapping myself in the soft glow of my wings I watch as everything around me is engulfed in flames.

I feel myself fall, and fall. No end in sight. I close my eyes letting myself drift off.

-.-.-.-

Steve's POV

"Where's Tinkerbell?"

"Tony..." I'm finally able to find my voice. He walks up to me angrily. I can tell he's not happy. "Where is she? She asked me to come get her when she activated the trackers. And yet I have a Capsicle and a wannabe Iron Man over here. Where is she?"

"She's on the ship." I hear Bucky speak up. "Excuse me. The real heroes are speaking. You, whoever you are, zip it." Tony snaps at Bucky and looks back at me expecting an answer.

"She threw us off the ship, she was still on it when it blew up..." I let my head hang in defeat.

"No she isn't." Tony says taken aback. "You LEFT her there?!" Tony accused, his eyes watching the destruction outside. "JARVIS scan the wreckage for signs of life."

My hopes lift when he says this.

"No signs of life detected sir." Jarvis replies after a few seconds. My hopes crushed in an instant. I keep failing her. I lost someone again.

I look towards Bucky, his expression lost, broken, and self-loathing. I turn to see Tony, Buck's face too much to take in. Tony's face was no better. His eyes closed, hands covering his face in defeat.

"JARVIS take us home." Tony finally says dejectedly. Silence taking over the jet.

"Sir, we're getting a message from Agent Romanoff." JARVIS speaks up after a while. "Connect her." Tony replies.

"Tony? I saw the jet. What's going on? Why are you in D.C.?" I hear Natasha's voice throughout the jet.

"Correction. Was in D.C. Currently I'm on a jet ride back to New York with the Capsicle and his mysterious friend." Tony says rubbing his temples.

"Steve? Steve are you okay? Do you have a location on (Y/N)?" She answers back, worry in her voice. "She's gone." I find myself saying.

"Gone? What do you mean?" Natasha replies.

"Look Nat... while I would love to have Mr. Stars and Stripes here fill you in right now. I'm currently having a huge migraine. And I rather not punch his pretty little white teeth out. You want answers Romanoff? Get your ass to the tower." With that Tony ended the call. He looks at me with anger in his features, turning back to the controls silence takes over the rest of the trip.

-.-.-.-

Hands. Holding me. Dragging me. Steve? Bucky? Tony?

I couldn't open my eyes. The darkness was too strong. Memories of better times replaying over and over in my head. But they too left. The darkness was too much.

-.-.-.-

Steve's POV

Back at the tower Tony went straight to his lab. "Get out of my sight for a while. Go clean up in (Y/N)'s room." He said, sadness in his voice mentioning (Y/N)'s name.

I take hold of Bucky and lead him to the room. Once inside I help him onto the couch, while I sit on the edge of the bed. I place my head between in hands, finally letting tears fall.

"Steve..." I look up to see Bucky looking at me, tears in his own eyes.

I finally got Bucky back, and now I lost (Y/N). This isn't right.

Wiping my eyes, trying to be strong for my broken friend, I walk up and take a seat next to him. "I'm sorry..." I hear Bucky whisper. "I didn't remember. I didn't know what I was doing. Everything Hydra put in my head, their control. They made me forget you all. I hurt you Steve. I'm sorry. I hurt my doll. I hurt the love of my life. I..." He was rambling. I could see he was still fighting everything Hydra had done to him, trying to come to terms with what happened.

"It's okay Buck, that wasn't you. I'm going to help you get better pal. We're going to get through it." I hoped my words sounded believable. "Stay here. Clean yourself up. I need to talk to Tony."

With that I got up and made my way to the door. Closing it behind me I gave myself a second to compose myself and my emotions. Then I headed to the lab, Tony and I needed to talk.