Find Me / Save Me (Bucky x Reader)

Sixty-Nine

Three Years Since the Blip

Standing with my hands on my hips, I observed my hard work. My house was clean and beautiful, as it had been three years ago. It has taken me a long time to be able to do this, to clean the dust and cobwebs from my home. To finally sleep in my bed. It was progress, something my therapist had been pushing me to accomplish for some time now. While I still went and stayed some days with Steve and Nat on campus, for the most part I had taken to stay back at home.

I had to seek help from a professional, talk to someone who didn't know me personally and wouldn't look at me with pitying eyes. It helped for the most part, Steve had even been inspired from my progress (and from his memories of Sam) that he took up a small job in grief counseling.

I continued our outreach program with Stark Industries, adding various community events where the people could meet with us in person and discuss their concerns. We even come to head with many people who still harbored hard feelings with the Avengers. It was cathartic in a sense, when I was able to open up and tell my story to those people, allowing us all to bond in the same face that we all suffered great loss.

At night though, I would sit on my bed and look out the window to the stars and moon, talking to it as if it were Bucky. Telling him about my day, the silly thing Morgan had done recently, or how much I continue to bug Steve about proposing.

During my clean up I had found a box with journals, journals Bucky kept during the first couple of years after he came back into my life. Where he wrote about his memories of HYDRA, our time before HYDRA, our life after. I decided to write my feelings out after speaking with my therapist, anytime I would feel low, I would write. Most of the time they were letters to Bucky. Sometimes to Sarah. Even though they would never read them, it helped.

-.-.-.-

Four Years Since the Blip

"Steve. Come ooooon... Why are you still holding out? Do it already! I know you have that ring already." I poked at him. The tip of his ears got red, "how do you know that?" I smirked. "I have my ways..."

"(Y/N)... It's just not the right time." It's always the same answer! "Steve. You always keep saying that. When is it ever going to be the right time?" I looked into his eyes searching for whatever could be holding him back, and was stunned to find tears in his eyes.

"It doesn't feel right without Buck and Sam here. Buck would be my best man. Sam would mess around and try to throw me some ridiculous bachelor party. I – It doesn't feel complete without them." My heart ached at his confession, at how we will never outlive this loss.

Taking a steadying breath I spoke softly, "I understand Steve. I do. But you can't keep your life and Nat's on hold. I know both Buck and Sam would have scolded you by now, or made your life a living hell, or both." I chuckled at the thought. "They wouldn't want you to hold back Stevie. You deserve this more than anyone else."

"(Y/N)..." He looked at me with sadness, understanding, and gratitude. "Just think about it Stevie... and anyways... I can always be your Best Woman." He laughed as I brought him in for a hug.

-.-.-.-

5 Years After the Blip

Took the man long enough. After what seemed like forever, Steve finally proposed. Now we were in the throes of planning a wedding. Nothing too big, as per both their wishes, but with Tony and I's insistence, something big enough. Something happy. All our remaining friends would be coming down to stay in the compound over the next couple of days, and I could feel the excitement as I walked into the compound to stay the night.