Find Me / Save Me (Bucky x Reader)

Seventy-Two

Steve's POV

Everything stops. There's no mission, not right now. There's only pain, complete and utter pain. I don't know how, but eventually Nat and I gravitated towards one another. We held on tight as each of us cried, I eventually realized we were left alone as everyone went their separate ways to grieve.

"I – I'm so sorry Steve... I tried..." Nat's voice eventually came out, a whisper as her voice is rough from her crying.

Tried? Confusion took over me as I didn't quite understand. In fact, I had been so caught up in my grief of losing another person I loved, I hadn't realized just how it had happened. "Sweetheart... What happened?"

She wouldn't look me in the eye, I could hear her shaking breaths and muffled sniffles. "A soul for a soul. That's what happened. I tried. I – I tried to be the one to do it. But she wouldn't – she said she promised. I – I couldn't stop her." Her head finally rose and her eyes locked with mine. "I love you Steve. So much. I didn't want to lose you... but this isn't right. I – It should have been me."

It finally clicks. I would've lost someone either way. My heart aches, neither option would have been right. None of this is right. I wanted to speak, to tell her that she's wrong, but then would that be making me say losing my friend is right? God. No. None of this is right.

Nat continues to talk before I could speak. "She loved us all. She wanted me to say that. She wanted me to say she kept her promise..."

"She promised no one would die. Not on her watch." Tony's voice startled us both as we turned to see his somber face, eyes covered by sunglasses in an obvious attempt to hide tears. He nodded at us to follow him. "Come on."

Helping Nat up, we followed him outside and made our way to the lake, the lake Nat drag her out of long ago. By the lakeside a couple of us were gathered. Thor, Clint, and Bruce stood there solemnly as we approached.

Once we sat down Nat recounted the whole story, while the rest of us stayed silent. Once she was done Tony spoke up again. "She wanted to keep her promise. What I would give to kick her ass right now for not including herself in that promise..."

"What are we going to tell Buck and Sarah? This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to finally get her family back." I'm surprised at my own voice, it's much calmer and smoother than what I thought it would be, and it doesn't betray the complete turmoil inside me.

"What?" Thor speaks up, almost confused.

"He just asked a question–"Nat spoke up, but Thor cut her off, his anger flaring.

"Yeah, you're acting like she's dead. Why are we acting like she's dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones, Cap, we can bring her back, isn't that right?" He practically growls as he continues. "So stop this shit. We're the Avengers, get it together."

"We can't get her back." Nat's voice is small.

"Wha– what?"

"It can't be undone. It can't." I hold her close to my side as Thor laughs, I look at him. I think he's finally lost it. He's been through more than most.

"I'm sorry. No offense, but you're a very earthly being. Okay? We're talking about space magic. And "can't" seems very definitive don't you think?" I can see the emotion behind Thor's voice, he won't accept it.

Nat looks at him, her face schooled into her stone cold face. "I may be just human. But she still isn't here, is she?" I can practically see her vibrate in place, an anger coursing through her.

"No, that's my point–"

Nat jumps from my embrace, her finger pointing Thor in the face, screaming and cutting him off. "It can't– be undone. Or that's at least what that red man said. Maybe you wanna go talk to him, okay? GO GRAB YOUR HAMMER, AND YOU GO FLY AND TALK TO HIM!"