Find Me / Save Me (Bucky x Reader)

Seventy-Eight

Bucky's POV

"And returning in, five, four, three, two, one..." It was a blink of an eye; he was gone and then he was back. In his arms, my angel. My knees feel weak and start to shake as both Steve and her suit retract. She's pale, so pale and lifeless in his arms. Crimson staining her body and suit. I hear a sob, and for a second, I think it's my own. Then I realize it came from Natasha. Steve turns to face me, and I can see the tears falling from his eyes. "Buck..."

I don't know how I gather the strength, but I will myself to walk towards the platform and up the steps until I'm standing right in front of them. I reach out towards my angel, my pale lifeless doll, and gather her into my hands and away from Steve.

"Buck..."

I can faintly hear Steve trying to get my attention, but all I can do is focus on my wife. She's cold to the touch, her eyes closed. I'll never get to see her bright eyes again. Her lips are pale, and I reach out to them on instinct. My thumb lightly passing by and dragging on her bottom lip. What I'd give to see her bite her lips again, what I'd give to see her smile. "Oh doll..." I finally sob out and fall with her to my knees, holding her close as I rock her back and forth.

This is worse than the pain I felt when I learned she was gone. This makes it real. Seeing her like this, holding her in my arms. She's gone. My heart is gone...

"Barnes..." I can hear Tony calling out to me and it takes every ounce of strength I have left to look up. He's standing there next to me, looking down on me and (Y/N) with tears in his eyes. "We need to take her. Clean her up. We can plan a funeral..." His words are filled with emotion, but he's trying to stay strong.

I nod softly. I know I have to let her go, but I just can't. I look down again as another sob comes out of my gut. I bring my hand to her face again, pushing back the hair from her face, caressing her one last time.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Buck... It's time. You – you have to let her go." Steve's voice is coarse and sounds like he's been yelling for hours. I nod again. I know. I know.

My thumb caresses her lips again and I can't let her go without a goodbye kiss. I bring my lips to hers and softly place a kiss. It's not the same. There's no warmth. As I break the kiss, I press my forehead against hers. "I love you doll. I'm yours, forever doll. Until the end of the line." I close my eyes and let another cry of agony out before I quickly pull away from her. "Take her. I – just – oh god."

Quickly I feel as someone removes her from my hands, the weight of her lifeless body leaving me feeling empty before another body crashes into mine and holds me in a tight embrace. I let go, let it all out and cry on them. It feels like an eternity before I am able to regulate my breathing again and find the strength to look up.

Sam is there, looking down on me before he softly pats my back. "I got ya man. It's okay. Come on..." He helps me up and I take stock of my surroundings. We're alone, but in the distance I can see Steve, Tony, Nat and Bruce surrounding the car as if guarding it. Guarding her. My throat feels tight as I struggle to take a couple of steps with Sam's aide.

"Let's – let's take my girl home Sam..."

-.-.-.-

It was dark.

It was quiet.

It was peaceful.

And then it wasn't.

It feels like a rubber band snapping back into place. Yanking me away from the still quiet and waking me right up. I can hear it. Their cries, their pain. Their sorrow.

What is happening?

The darkness slowly starts to fade, and I can see myself again, I can feel myself again. In the distance I see a warm orange glow. Without hesitation I walk towards it. Their cries grow louder, the sorrow piercing my very soul. I hold my hands to my head in an effort to drown it out.

What is this?!

That is the souls of the ones you left behind my dear.

I gasp at the sound, recognizing the voice immediately. The Soul Stone, the warm orange glow growing closer and closer, pulsing as it continues to speak.

Everything has been righted, the stones have been returned. You did good child.

The cries continued, they pulled at me as if knowing my soul was there. They pulled as if asking for me. I wanted to answer their call, I wanted to go with them.

I want to go home...

I'm sorry my dear, but that will never be.

I close my eyes in anger, I can feel the anger on my skin, raising the hairs on my arms and electrifying the air around me. Power flows through me in my anger, I can feel it all. The remnants of the snap, all that cosmic energy pent up inside me. I hear my family calling for me, reaching out for me and it breaks something inside of me. I snap my eyes open and stare at the orange glow before me.

I am going home.

The light pulses and the noise around me quiets. Everything feels still and peaceful once more. The glow before me turns warm and inviting, calling me to rest, to let go. Once more the light pulses as I am surrounded by the sound of its voice.

Yes, come to my warm embrace. No more pain. No more burdens. For I rule within. I am power. I am one of the six. My mother was a star. My father was destruction. I am logic and survival... Power that will not be enslaved by emotion or biology. I am by far strongest of us both... So, I claim this vessel, which was yours, as my own. I am your fate. I am the Soul Stone. Do not let your misguided courage deceive you. You are not in control here.

The warmth I had felt runs cold. It wants to seal my fate. Control me. But I heard their cries, I know I am still needed. I must go back. Nothing can stand in my way.

No.

No?

I close my eyes once more and I can feel the power run through me. My power, the power that remains from the stones, the love I hold for my family. It all builds in me and when I snap my eyes open again explodes. I can feel it glowing on my skin, my wings outstretched and burning brightly.

No. I will go home. You cannot stop me.

I held my head high and threw my hands out to my sides, letting the power continue to grow around me.

You will fail.

I chuckled softly.

You can't stop me now. There's nothing in the world that'll keep me from them. Not even you.

I flew into the orange light straight on. I could feel its strength pushing against my own, trying to tear me down and push me out. I closed my eyes and pictured them. I whispered their names one by one.

James, Sarah, Steve, Natasha, Tony, Pepper, Morgan, Peter, Sam, Wanda, Pietro, Clint, Bruce, Thor, T'Challa, Shuri, Okoye, M'Baku, Happy, Rhodey, Nebula, Rocket, Carol.

It became a mantra, repeated over and over again as I pushed against the Soul Stone. As I willed it to bend under me.

I am life and death. I am above you. I will not bend.

It pushed back harder, but I never let up. I will not let these stones take what I have worked so hard to achieve. I deserve to have the life, a life, to live. Determined I push back with everything in me.

YOU WILL!

And then... everything goes white.