Fairplay

four.

a week.

it's been a week since namjoon went back to his and jin's apartment.

a week and nothing has changed.

jin still doesn't talk to him whenever they see each other. now it's like they don't even know each other. whenever they're around each other, it's so awkward.

namjoon really hates it.

today of all days, doesn't make anything better.

it's the day his mom died.

jin usually is the one comforting him on this day but now, jin is just sleeping in his room. namjoon is sitting on the couch, tears rolling down his, as he look at old pictures of him and his mother on his phone.

his mother was really his only family member he could count on to be there for him. but now she's gone and the next best person who was always there for him, doesn't even love him anymore.

namjoon truly feels lost and alone.

pulling up the call app, namjoon dials his mother's number.

he does this every year. he'll call her phone and leave a voicemail just telling her how things have been in his life.

after the phone rings, he hears the voice that brings him so much happiness.

"𝘩𝘪.. 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘷𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦! 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘴! *𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘱*"

with shaky breath, namjoon starts talking.

"hi mommy.. it's joonie again. i wanted to say that things have been going great so far and.."

he stopped talking, feeling the tears continuously stream down his face. he's never lied to her and he's not gonna start. even if she isn't here.

"... I'm sorry.. that was a lie.. things haven't been good recently. umm.. m-me and seokjin broke up. i d-don't know what i did to him but things just didn't work out.. mommy, it hurts so much.. i still love him so much and every time i see him, I'm reminded of that love i still have for him.. i-i wish you were still here.. i feel so alone and lost.. i used some of the money you left me for a hotel room.. I'm sorry, i know it was meant for something else and i shouldn't of used it...

mommy, i feel so weak and useless.. i wanna be strong. maybe i deserve all of this.. maybe I'm meant to be alone.. i don't know but.. I'll be going now mommy.. it was nice talking y-you again.. i miss and love you so so much." namjoon say, the tears never stopping. he hung up the phone and just cried.

namjoon held the teddy bear he got out of jin's room while he was out close to him.

the teddy bear is the one his mom got him three years ago as a birthday gift. he held it close and cried himself to sleep.

oblivious to jin listening to everything he said.

the sight truly did make jin's heart hurt. even still, he hated to see namjoon crying like that.

he had came out of his room to get something to drink but then he heard namjoon crying, talking on the phone.

that's when he remembered that today was the day that namjoon's mother passed away. he felt so stupid for forgetting. no matter what him and namjoon were going through, namjoon's mother was special to him. she treated him like her own son once she found out him and namjoon were dating.

he was always there to comfort namjoon but tonight he wasn't and that made him hurt knowing that namjoon was all alone.

mad at himself, jin went back into his room and fell asleep.

•

next morning, namjoon woke up on the couch. he yawned and got up, going into the kitchen, and pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

after finishing, he put the cup into the sink and went to turn around to go into his room but was met with jin's body.

he gasped and looked down to the ground.

"i-i'm sorry... I'll be out of your way.."
"i'm sorry for not being with you yesterday.. I'm always there to comfort you but I'm stupid.."

namjoon eyes watered at the statement. he thought jin forgot or just didn't want to be near him yesterday.

"i-it's ok"

it was now silent. it wasn't comfortable but it also wasn't awkward. the tears came back and was rolling down namjoon's face. he was scared to ask jin what he was about to ask him.

"c-can you hug me.. pl-please?"
"yeah.. sure"

jin wrapped his arms around namjoon, hugging him. namjoon wrapped his arms around jin's waist, hugging back tightly.

namjoon sobbed into his shirt. it was mostly because he still felt sad from yesterday but also because jin wasn't hugging him like he used to.

there was no love in the hug. jin wasn't even hugging him as tight as namjoon was.

namjoon let go and wiped his eyes.
"i'm sorry, I'll be going now.."
he said and with that he walked away, leaving jin standing there.