Fairplay

twenty.

~unedited~

jackson and namjoon sat in the living room of namjoon's apartment.
both not knowing what to say.
they haven't seen each other for the past four weeks now. jackson just needed time to get his head right.
namjoon understand that so he left jackson alone.

he did try to text him a few times but jackson ignored them all. he was angry with namjoon the first week, but afterwards, he was just sad and hurt.

"so..."
"jackie- jackson... I'm really sorry. i really am.. please forgive me. it was never my intention to hurt you at all. i really did like you so much and i wanted to be with you.." namjoon said.
"it's ok namjoon.. it's not your fault.. you can't pick and chose who to have feelings for. maybe your feelings for me was real but the feelings you have for seokjin is just much stronger and you owe it to yourself to figure things out with him." jackson say with a smile. namjoon shake his head.

"why're you being so nice to me? yell at me, scream or something! i deserve it.." namjoon say, eyes watering.
"you don't deserve it-"
"yes i do! i hurt you jackie.. I'm a bad person. you've treated me so good and what do i do? i fuck it up. I'm such a mess and I'm stupid."

jackson get up and sit down next to namjoon, grabbing his hands and holding them tight.
"namjoon, you're not stupid.. and yes you did hurt me but it wasn't intentionally.. it's not your fault joon.. the heart is gonna want what it wants and it just so happens that yours still want seokjin and not me and that's ok because it's not your fault. we can't control those types of things.. you're not a bad person.. please don't beat yourself up about this. I'm ok and i forgive you." jackson said, smiling at namjoon.

namjoon wrapped his arms around jackson's torso, hugging him tightly and crying into his shirt. jackson wrapped his arms around namjoon and allowed him to cry as he rubbed namjoon's back.

they stay like that for a while, both feeling that comfortable warmness from each other.
namjoon was hurting so much because he knew jackson was right. no matter what happened or who came along, his heart is always gonna want seokjin.

"I'm sorry jackson.. i hope we can be friends. i don't want to lose you.. you're the only one who kept me sane recently.. you're like my best friend.." namjoon say as they pull away from the hug.

"of course we can still be friends.. you have my number and I'm always here for you whenever you need me.." jackson say. they both smile at each other.
"i... i know it's early but have you found someone??"
"uhh.. well, my friend mark that i told you about? he likes me and i told him to wait for me until i was fully over you.. I'm not fully over you but i think I'll give it a shot.. he's really nice and sweet.. and he's beautiful."
"well.. I'm happy for you. you deserve your happiness jackie.." namjoon say, giving him a dimple smile.
jackson smile back and kiss namjoon's forehead.

"i should get going... i have to go to work this evening." jackson say as he stand up. namjoon nod and stand up as well, walking jackson to the door. they hug each other one more time, wanting to feel that warmness again.

it wasn't the same type of warmness as it used to be.
this was more friendlier and both wasn't mad or anything.

"don't be a stranger jackson.."
"same to you joon." they smile and namjoon watch jackson walk away.

•

seokjin sat in yoongi and hoseok's kitchen.
he came over because he wanted to give namjoon and jackson privacy while they talked.

"you think it's ok for me to go back now?" jin asked.
"i don't know.. maybe they made up and is fucking right now." hobi said. he's still kinda mad at seokjin for hurting namjoon.
"seokie.. hush."
"I'm sorry."
"why do you want to be there so bad?" yoongi asked jin.
"because it's my house." seokjin say matter of factly.
"you know what i mean smart ass.. right now, i can tell you're scared of them talking right now because you're probably thinking that they made up and is happy again.. why does that matter hyung?" yoongi ask.

jin sigh, resting his head in his hands.
he knows why he's so nervous and scared about namjoon and jackson talking.

"i... i still love him yoongs. i still want to be with him but I'm scared... I'm scared because i know i fucked up bad.. i know that there could be a chance that joonie won't want me anymore and that scares me.. but.. i guess, I should just accept that he won't want me.. it's my fault and my fault only that he's going through everything right now.. gosh I'm so fucking stupid! i messed up a good thing and now i may never get it back.. joonie deserve someone better than me anyways.. I'm just a fucking disgrace and useless." jin say, tears unconsciously rolling down his face.

yoongi and even hoseok felt bad for jin.
they know he really messed up this time. seokjin still love namjoon and although namjoon still love him, namjoon may not want to take him back.
they all know it and there's nothing they can do about it.

the only thing they can do is wait for namjoon.

•

mannn my heart doing all types of flips right now😩 i feel bad for them guys!!