Fairplay

twenty eight.

AN: ok so I've decided that this book will end at chapter 40🥺!! 41 and 42 will be the two part epilogue! don't worry, nothing else bad happens anymore!❤️

a month later, him and seokjin have been better than what they were two months ago.
the two have been much more happier.

seokjin took namjoon out on a date every friday like how they used to. they even went back and stayed at jin's cabin house for a week.
no the two didn't have sex.

namjoon feels like he isn't ready for sex with seokjin again. seokjin didn't mind it.
as long as namjoon is happy and comfortable, then so is he.

granted, both boys have been craving each other.
intimately.
but namjoon is just scared. he's scared that if he give in and have sex with seokjin that he won't be enough and seokjin will leave him.
although they've been happy this past month, he's still scared that one day, seokjin will change like he did last time.

namjoon really wants to have sex with seokjin again but right now.. he just can't.
he's too scared.

"joonie? I'm home baby!" seokjin called out as he walked through the front door of their apartment.
namjoon made his way out of their bedroom and into the living room where he saw seokjin standing with two store bags. he smiled as seokjin walked over to him and pecked his lips.

"what's this?" namjoon asked, gesturing to the bags in jin's hands.
"oh, this is korean bbq.. i didn't really feel like cooking today and i know this is one of your favorites so.. yeah" he say with a smile.

namjoon smiled and nodded.
the two, 15 minutes later after seokjin took a shower, found themselves in the kitchen eating the food jin had brought home.
"how's the food baby?" seokjin asked.
"it's delicious, thanks for bringing it home" namjoon said giving seokjin a well missed dimple smile.

seokjin's heart fluttered and he felt butterflies looking at namjoon's adorable dimples.
"no problem sweets" namjoon blushed at the nickname. he haven't heard jin call him that in so long. he missed hearing jin call him that.

"can we cuddle after this?" namjoon asked. jin nodded with a smile.
"of course!"

the two currently live alone again in their apartment.
jimin kept his promise and moved out. he's actually rooming with jungkook. the two have became oddly close.
namjoon didn't think much of it though.

it was weird when him and seokjin dropped jimin off at jungkook's apartment.
of course jungkook wanted to be petty and brought up the fact that him and namjoon fucked. seokjin, surprisingly, didn't get angry or jealous. he simply said 'namjoon is his own person and is allowed to make his own decisions and besides, what he did with you is way in the past now'.
it took both namjoon and jungkook by surprise that seokjin was being so cool and not his normal jealous and possessive self.

namjoon was happy to see that jin was maturing so much.

•

now on the couch, cuddled up, namjoon and seokjin sat watching movies.
joon was snuggled up with his head resting on jin's shoulder as he held onto his arm and seokjin had his arms wrapped around namjoon, holding him.

"I'm sorry namjoon.."
"why're you saying sorry jin?" namjoon asked, kinda caught off guard by seokjin.
"i was just thinking about what i did to you a few months ago.. i told you i would say sorry as much i had to.. i really fucked up and i hate to remind you of the last baby but it's all I've been thinking about.. i hate myself for what i did to you. i really wanna make it up to you but I'm not sure how.." jin ranted.

it made namjoon feel a little better to know that he wasn't the only one who was still suffering from the past events.

"it's ok seokjin.. you're not the only one who's been thinking about the past.. to be honest, we've been so happy recently but.. I'm still scared, i know i should move on but.. recently I've become i-insecure.. with that being said, I'm really scared that one day you'll get tired of me again and leave me or cheat on me again"

"baby, I'm so so so sorry.. i-i.. i really hate myself, I'm the reason you're feeling insecure.. you should be hating me but instead you're here, cuddling with me.. i don't deserve you.."

"no one is perfect seokjin.. everyone make mistakes.. if we're being honest with each other.. when were still together the first time, i thought of going out and confiding in someone else because you were never around and didn't want to be with me anymore.."

"but you didn't namjoon, i actually did.. and that makes me a horrible person.." seokjin said, tears starting to roll down his face.
he really was feeling the toll of everything that happened and he wasn't happy with himself.

"listen to me seokjin.. right now, I'm here with you and i only want you.. i don't want anyone else.. i forgive you seokjin.. please don't leave me.. stay with me, forever" namjoon said.

seokjin wiped his tears away and smiled. he nodded his head and pecked namjoon's lips.
"i love you so much joonie" seokjin said and namjoon gasped. "you don't have to say it back right now, i just wanted you to know that i love you so much and I'll never stop loving you no matter what.." seokjin added.

namjoon found himself smiling as he wrapped his arms around jin's neck and pecked his lips.
namjoon climbed into jin's lap, straddling him.

jin held onto namjoon's waist and smiled at him.
they made out. the kiss becoming more heated than usual.
seokjin moved and attached his lips to namjoon's neck, leaving hickeys and marks all over. namjoon softly moaned as he threw his head back.

both boys felt themselves getting hard and namjoon knew this was real once seokjin went to take his shirt off.
namjoon gasped and stopped seokjin.

"I-I'm sorry... i don't t-think I'm ready yet jinnie.." namjoon said.
"that's ok baby, i told you we could take things slow and go at your pace." jin said, smiling.

"c-can we makeout still?" namjoon asked and jin chuckled. he nodded as he connected their lips again.

that's how the two boys ended their night, cuddling and making out.