The things I did

Coffee

     "Woah, woah, woah. What do you mean she's engaged?!?" Becky says on the other end of the phone.

     "Yup, engaged! I am just as shocked as you are. I have no idea what to make of this" you say as you finish your bagel.

"(Y/N), where are you now?" Becky asks.

     "I walked to a bagel shop called O'Bagel. It's near Madd Hatter. I'm sitting on a bench outside of the place finishing up my bagel."

     "Do you want me to meet you? Lizzie is still asleep and Sarah is back in bed asleep."

     You let out a sigh and think for a few seconds. "No, that's okay. I should probably head back to the hotel soon. What time did Sarah get back in bed?"

     "Uhhhh, maybe around 7 AM. She woke me up when she got into bed and that's when I saw your text."

     "Geez, 7 AM?! When I woke up it was 5 AM. I can't believe she sat around the toilet for 2 hours. I hope she feels better when she wakes back up."

     "Yeah me too. Well, are you going to head back soon?"

     "I suppose so. I just finished my bagel so I'll head back now. I should be back in 30 minutes."

"Okay (Y/N), I'll see you in 30 minutes, bye."

"Bye, Becks."

     You crumble up the tinfoil your bagel was in and place it back into the brown paper bag your bagel came in. You brush off the crumbs from your lap and stand up from the bench to throw out the paper bag. You check your phone and see that it is now 8 AM. You hope that when you get back to the hotel, Lizzie will still be asleep. You weren't ready to deal with that situation.

     As you start to walk back to the hotel, your mind starts to wonder into the 'What if's' of your current situation. What if Lizzie is genuinely into you? What if Lizzie is just using you to see if she is into women? What if she us trying to see if she is happy in her engagement? What if, what if, what if. You stopped walking to take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. You hate thinking about the what if's. You look around and observe your surroundings, taking note of all the subtle things.

     You notice how the sun hits your skin. How the heat brings you warmth, joy, and comfort - you were thankful for the sun. You listen to the motion of the Hudson River. The sound the river makes always calmed you down and took you to a different place. You listen to the birds communicating with one another - you wonder what they were talking about. You listen to the commotion of the people around you starting their mornings. You listen to their voices, their feet hitting the concrete sidewalk.

     Suddenly your body and mind felt more at ease. You remind yourself that whatever happens, happens. Everything happens for a reason, who knows what this will bring you in the future. The best thing for you is to stay optimistic. Things could be far worse. You can only imagine how Lizzie is feeling about this all.

     You continue your walk back to the hotel reminding yourself of the things you told yourself. These little thoughts are what help you stay calm and keep yourself in the right mind.

     You reach the front door of the hotel and stop in your tracks. You close your eyes and take a deep breath before you entering the building. You let that breath out and imagine your worries and stress leaving. You open your eyes and venture into the hotel.

     You walk over to the elevators and press the  'up' arrow. Once the elevator doors open, you step in and press the number 10 while waiting for the doors to close. As soon as the doors close, you feel the elevator jolt upwards. You start to fidget with your fingers, nervous as to what could come. You hear the elevator ding as it reaches the 10th floor. The doors open and you step out and proceed towards room 1026. You reach the room and just as you are about to swipe the key card, the door swings open.